fairybelle

2006-07-04T07:13:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it! I fell asleep while watching porn! Sheesh. Seems like such eroticas doesn't excite me anymore. Tsk tsk tsk. Now i have to find other means to help myself. Hehe.

Truthfully, i was in much desperation and frustration when i've lost all of my folders in my lappy. Urgh. Stupiak lappy. Everything's goooneee. My project work, designs, docus, memos, portfolio and tonnes of memorable pictures.. All GONE. Damnn. Those priceless stuffs of mine, i can only blame myself for my own carelessness and stupiditiness. Shikes. And the last thing i need is for any of you to mail me responding to this mishap that happened to me. Puh-leesee. My partner had given me more than enough of a dressing down. Heh. And i dare to label myself a 'media student'? Where have all my knowledge gone to? Too add more fuel to the fire, i even lost all my edited pictures and stuffs including my desktop wallpaper. Aaaarggh!

Alright. Moving on, those weren't exactly the reason why i've turned on some porn vids. ((Oh hell yeahh, i do watch porn hokkay. Blueaurgh. How else can you actually learn some good tips right. Heheh. Girls will be girls too ya know. Wham!)) Ok, i was trying to squeeze some creative juices out of me to design some important flyers. Started out from scratch, it was kinda a pain in my 'creative ass'. With resources all gone, i was busy refilling the virgin new folder with some ideas. Kinda very frustrating to think again. Doing things all over and the hell for the second time. Sheesh.

Usually i will take my breaks by giving my partner a call and like disturb him for a moment. What a luck. I don't know what had triggered his weirdness and caused major attitude and character change in him lately. To make things more serious, i felt very pissed at the most response he gave. Urgh. Macam nak slam the fon jer. But no worries ookies cause i didn't. Gosh. How can i do that kan.. Hehe. A substitute is then found for my so-called break time. Hah. Porns lahh. I don't know where i get that i idea from. While checking my mails, one leads to another, and boo-ha, im watching porn. But what a silly waste, i really did fell asleep even before the 'fucking' part.

Ah. Damn with all that shits. Before i switch my lappy off and chuck it aside for the day, i just wanna say how much i can't bare to see my lappy now. All due to my 'pandai-pandai'. Haaaiz. Menyesal tak sudah. And yeahh, for today and today only, me and my 'fiance' will be checking out some wedding vids from this Ri & Lyn. Ghairah babe. Hurhur.

Anyway, i simply miss the quality time spend with my partner. I certainly know that keadaan tak mengizinkan skarang. I will definitely patiently wait till times are better. Just don't make the relationship more strenious than it has been now. Maybe have more faith. Or better still let's start to prove one another again of the strong feelings we have for each other. I miss the hugs and kisses that comes with the whispers of 'i love you' and 'i miss you'.. I simply missed those things. I just want things to be normal again.. Just like it was before. Don't you?

2006-06-30T05:01:00.000+08:00

Well well well. How stubborn can people get. Whatever it is, i thank you all for the views, concerns or what have you. You know, out of sincerity here, i suggest a better way for you to express your concerns for me. How about well wishes through prayers, instead of mailing me your looong entry. I appreciate them though. Sincere. Good or bad, i accepted them. So to the God you believe in, pray for better days for me. Heh. And to those who prefers to laugh, curse and all that jazz, i suggest, keep them to yourself. After all, your views, your says, your own. It can never affect me in any way.

Worst days of my life it has been, lately. Judging from what i've been going through, you bet it right, my partner do mean alot, or better yet, the world to me. Reflecting on those good ol days, he was my greatest lover, ever. He was always the one. My only one. Putting aside the upmost priority, my family and education, he was the next important person in my life. In fact, he was the one i spent most of my time with. More then my lecture notes and lappy or my MTV.

Don't worry, trust me please. I forgave him. He forgave me. We talked it out. Laid every problems and misunderstandings. Also got to know from reliable sources, he actually is facing some big issue in life, which does not concerns me. I really find my partner indeed, very complicated. No words can explain his logical explaination behind his behaviour. Truthfully, only those who have known him for years, do understand this man. I guess i lose out in this matter. The fact that i've only known him for less than half a year. I guessed wrong. Thought i could know him completely in this short period of time as we did spend lotsa time together.

In any case, i'm more determined than ever now to pick up the broken pieces and mend it. To rectify every mistakes done, learn from it and never to create rudundace out of it. In fact, we both are determined to do so. And my partner, he was so sincere, that he'll try every ways now to ignite back the love that i've lost for him. He gave me a second chance, i'm just being humane enough to let him have his. Futhermore, i know deep in, i want him still. I believe, with much patience and perserverence, and maybe a lil bit of faith, we can still work out this precious relationship.

I've been seeing him again now. But with the presence of his friends though. And with more quality time spent, maybe there's hope. I realised, that i've to let go of the 'hurts' to give space to the 'love' again. I began to feel the warmth from him but i think i still need time. And i hope he'll continue to shower me with the strenghth and ever-warming love of his. Well, i'm not the only one who suffered here. This affected him alot too. We both are the victim. In any way, i'll definitely try my best too, to help him in every ways.

I wanna be his princess again. I want to feel the total warmth of love and care from him again. I want to feel his warm hugs again. I wanna be kissed sweetly by him again. And i definitely want him in my life, all my life.. I want to love him, forever.

I know he wants the exact same things. I know he wish me to accept him whole-heartedly again. And i know, we both wants the life we use to lead together, again.

Dear, i will say 'i love you' again and i'll really mean it. And if you get to hear those words from me, believe me, it's just like before. No fakes. No pretends. Just purely my true feelings for you. And the same goes to me, when ever i'll get to hear the words from you. No doubts. No second thoughts. However, i'll definitely miss you, always.

shalyn
xoxo

2006-06-28T06:26:00.000+08:00

After a long walk, smoke, cans of beer and fresh air, i finally decided to come home again. The night out alone was simply lonely, cold and thoughts-filled.

I walked out from home about an hour after the big argument with my partner. With eyes everlasting filled with tears, i seemed to tear to the very minute i decided to come home. A non-stop agenda. Troughout the time, i filled my lungs with cigarette smoke. About an hour or so later, my partner called. Truthfully, his call doesn't excite me anymore. In fact i began to feel some hesitation to pick it up. I fear another breakout of a quarrel. Or simply, another word of hurts that may be filling his mouth and thus stabbing my heart. I felt fucking hurt but i simply can't voice it out nor can i phrase it in line. In the end, i'm to endure.

Typing this entry doesn't resemblance a revenge. As always, i just wish to let it out. I don't even know, or better still, i don't even care if my partner gets to read this. I doubt any goodwill reactions from him anyway. I may seem very hate-ful towards him as i type this entry. But, i don't know why or how, i still do care for that man. The fact that, we were once a happy, happy couple.

Back to the conversation that actualy lasts for an almost 2 hours, i felt nothing and simply nothing. I may be sobbing still but i don't know; to love, or to hate. Or maybe to ignore? He was simply remorseful over what happened. Umpteen 'SORRY' was said by him and i believed i forgave him.. Hmm. Irony huh.

I was then filled with confusion. If he had forgiven and loves me as what he claimed, then why still the sarcasm? Was my 'SORRY' not deep and meaningful enough to him? Aah. What the fuck. All this while i've been saying sorry to him and that i meant it when i said that i learnt my lessons but i feel like it keeps falling onto deaf ears. I shall complain no more. I'm more confused than ever.

Hey partner, all i want from you is for you love me with no boundaries. To spend time with me without even judging the amount of time you've spared. To respect and treat me well any time, any where. Of all, yes, i do need you to trust and believe me. Not forgetting the faith. So think again if you think that you've showered me all of that. Cause the scars from the pain and hurts inside me proves that you don't.

He said, maybe i need to tell him how to react or what to say when comes to a situation. What the hell am i suppose to tell him huh? Gosh. Simply ridiculous. He even told me he gave up talking or even saying anything to me cause he believed that every single thing that he say to me is wrong. It'll either hurt me or i'll get it wrong. Another what the hell. I simply hate it and can't take it every time he says he gives up talking and prefers to shut the hell up. What? Are we dumb people now? I'll let him think for himself. No point forcing. I hope he knows that we can talk this through nicely. That is, if he still wants this relationship as he claimed uh.

Out of the high feeling from the cans of beer that i had, i muttered stupid stuff during the conversation. I wasn't drunk so i realised the topics shared during the talk. I still hope he does what he said now. Putting his words into practicality. Trying to be a lil bit more sensitive towards me. To really forgive and start a new beginning, just like the good ol days. And i really hope he will stop hurting me with all the karma. Aah. Simply, to really mean what he said and that he'll strive for it. And yeahh, not to give up anymore.

In all for all, i still do cherish him. I do treasure the relationship we built. Though i've lost all chemistry and faith in him, i'm willing to slowly get them back. I know, deep in, i still love this man. I want this man, forever. But no matter how much i try to create my own destiny, fate's at God's hand..

Again, i'm sorry for ALL the hurts and bad memoirs. Sincerely..

Shalyn

2006-06-27T20:06:00.000+08:00

I'm here to let out what's deep inside me. I know this entry will be open to the public. But i don't need any views nor concerns from anyone. My intention is to just let it out from my chest.

When comes to problem, often been asked first, "love problems?". Relationships with no problem? That's one in a million. Let me start by confessing, i have problems in my reationship. 'Soal hati', that is.. As i type this entry, my tears are rolling down my cheecks, endlessly. Silent cry.. Very heart breaking. Ever been through that?

I used to have total believe in my partner. I loved him. But that was the past. As for now, i've lost all that. For all i know now, i feel the beginning of the end. I broke down when he gave up on me a few days back. And i wasn't that overjoyed when he asked my hand back in the relationship. I didn't hesitate at all though. Because i knew, i loved him. But i fear now, i can't feel the 100% love i use to shower on him. It has all demeaned. I began to question myself. I guestioned him too. And we thought, the feelings were all temporary..

I was wrong. Yet again today, we triggered another quarrel. And sad to say, i broke down. Real bad i must say. I simply have to let it out after bottling my feelings for quite some time. The point is this, i am very remorseful of what ever i did in the past. All the greediness and hurts that caused him. And i know i was wrong. I realised after he threatened to leave me. I didn't stop him though. I just need to know what was the cause. But since he treasure this relationship that we built, he came back. And as for me, i take it as a lesson learnt and that it's a 2nd chance for me.

But why.. I must know. You treated me like a prisoner. You were all out with your insensitiveness towards me. Didn't you say you forgive me? Didn't you say you'll let it pass? So you lied? What is it? Why do you have to make me fall to a stage of depression? Why must you break me and make me so emotionally disturb?

Sad to say, i began to feel nothing towards you. It's like loving you from afar. I don't dare to come near you. You are like one beast to me now. You ate me up completely. Maybe i need some time like you said. But im not you dear.. No matter what, we are 2 different person. You may can take all the pressure and be strong. But my body can't. You gave me assurance that such things won't happen anymore. But i'm just not assured.. I don't have faith in us anymore. I've lost all chemistry between us.

This is very heart breaking to me. I teared the whole time im typing this. In fact, tears have been filling my eyes ever since the incident. I'm breaking still, knowing that im emotionally giving up on you.. While, mentally and physicaly, im trying not to. If this is the beginning of the end, let me in advance once again apologise for my wrong doings towards you dear. And that, i used to love you with all my heart. And it was true, loving you was the only thing i did best, then..

shalyn
xoxo

2006-05-31T22:27:00.000+08:00

First of all, i'm not going to update about anything. I'm lost for mood. Every day life has been turning from bad to worst. I'm hating every single second of it. No point i treasure. No point i love.

Nothing more to say. I'm taking a break from the blogging world. Let me heal all wounds and reach for inner peace. I'm off..

shalyn

xoxo

2006-05-27T07:00:00.000+08:00

Final and Confirmed:

TIRAMISU LIVE @ SINGAPORE ART MUSEUM

SAM Facade

27th May 06, Saturday ((TODAY!!))

9.30pm till late

FREE FOR ALL

((click on the image for more))

COME ON DOWN.

2006-05-24T23:02:00.000+08:00

dearest, i miss youu. :((

2006-05-23T23:23:00.000+08:00

Friendster's now eating my ass off. I can't log in. Initially was the lappy's prob. Urrgh. Anyway, i would like to thank those who mailed me in respond to my previous post. Thank youu soo much yeahh. ((:

Ooo yes. Alan brought me to Bar None last Sunday. To distress me maybe. Hee. I was all smiles when i get to watch Force Vomit performed live again. I'll never get bored of them. Just like the Wicked Auras'. Oh how i miss them so. Especially FV's guitarist. Hurhur. Alan knows who.. Right dear? But im in for quite a despairment when he wasn't around. Ngeeeee. Anyhow, the performance was grrreat. Loved it.

Met lotsa friends there. Jun, Zaidi, Is and yeahh the the bassist of Force Vomit did kissed Alan on the lips. Euurghh. Hahahaha. The highlight of the day was the band from Hong Kong, i think. Oh my. My memory's getting poor. Sheesh. But i definitely remembered their female bassist. She was oh-so-cool lahh. I wished i'm as talented as her. Hurhur. So the drummer was from the well-known band Suede. Overall, loved their performance. They were great. Even the Electrico's guitarist, i think, was soo into them and even recorded their whole long performance on his nokia hp. Haha. Sweet.

Overall i enjoyed the rock themed gig. Thank youu Alan. Thank youu Mariam and Rudi. Hehe. So after that, we all headed down to Kimlin Apartment for a while. Mike, Douglas and his gf too. I sooo don't like Douglas. Isssk. But Mike was oh-so-gerek. Hee. And soon, there'll be no more Kimlin.. The stupiak government wanna tear the block down. Awww.. So sad.

Next, Alan and i are both caught in the mid. Susah lahh eeh being oh-so-popular. Hahah. Not. Mariam and Rudi versus the Black Unit. Hee. Both party asked us along for a movie date. Same movie but on different date. Mariam and Rudi intends to watch it on the Wednesday while the Black Unit on Friday. Nak ikut yang mana eeh.. Hmmm. Apa-apa pun, i leave this to my Prince. It doesn't matter with who else as long as i'm with my Prince. I leave this to you dear. I'm ook as long as you're ok. Heeee.

Another news update, Tiramisu's upcoming gig will be on this Friday, 26th. Venue is at Singapore Museum. I think uh. Hehehe. I'll definitely dig the confirmed info from the bassist and update yall ookies. But im very much sure that it's free entry for all. So, come on down hokayy. After i get the confirmed info lahh. Heh.

Hokayy. I think im getting better at my anger management. I managed to divert my anger to patience and love. But, if im pushed too far, i'll still blow my top. For that, don't blame me. Coz everyone else will sure do fire their heads when pushed too far. Sheesh. So spending my time with Alan do helps me. Alot. Oh-i-soo-in-love-with-this-man-of-mine. Hee. Toodles-do.

2006-05-22T05:32:00.000+08:00

I'm squeezing a lil time here while waiting for Alan to siap and pick me up. He's soooo late. Huahuahua. Woke up early just now just to be with the family for a lil bit. And whoah.. Cayote Ugly is on show now. One of my earlier favourites. Heh.

Hokay. I must admit, i need some help on my anger management. My temper keeps raging in between time. I feel myself on fire even on lil things. Why am i always triggered to blow? Why do i keep feeling fiery inside? God, help me..

I keep venting my anger on nothingness. Sometimes, i even blow on the innocence. Then later, i will regret soo much for doing so. Damn. Why? Everything seems so meaningless. Im all confused on why and how. What's worst, this has been going on for like a month or so. Imagine the suffer those innocence have to deal with. Oh dear.. Im soo sorry. Deep in i've never meant to. It's just uncontrollable.

I got soo sick of this feeling that recently, i take on a new challenge for myself. Every time i feel like firing my top, i'll recite some prayers and think of the good and happy times. Think of the love im feeling.. Keeping in mind how much i treasure every single one around me. After which, all i'll be looking for is a big hug and whispers telling me that every thing is gonna be ok.

During the quiet moments, i figured. Maybe i need my usual care and attention from my loved ones. Or maybe i need to feel more manja. Maybe i still need to hear the words i love you, i always need you or even i treasure you every now and then. Maybe all i want is frequent hugs and kisses from them. Maybe of all, i need the happy bubbles. I don't know why but i feel that i lack of all that now..

So Alan, can all this starts with you? Since you are the one i spend most of my time with. Since you are the one i put high hopes and depends on. Since i love you like my own. Since i wanna have a future with you.. Our future together. I love you Prince. With all my heart.

2006-05-21T19:18:00.000+08:00

Haiz. Alan said he'll update this humble blogg for once but i should have known. Hmm. Anyway, yeahh, i'm baaack. Hehehe. Safe and sound. Thanx to those who wished us well. Prayers answered. Thank youu all..

Yeahh. New layout for me. More on the BUnit side now. My mind is filled with BUnit junks lahh. Am working out on a webbie for them. So here there and everywhere around me are all the Black Unit. Hurhurhur. And the song you are hearing is currently one of my favourites. the beat and rhythm just keeps me aliveee. It's not a new released song though. It's just that i fell in love with it all over again. Hehe.

So KL holiday 0n the 12th to 14th May was terrific. Very very nice. And it's the people whom i went with have made the weekend getaway a superb one. Those who went:
#01 Sham Legend & Qish Qish
#02 Alyn & Alan
#03 Anoi & Lin
#04 Mac & Elfi
#05 Fishy & Umairah
#06 Sachok & Rafeah
Among us, some went later. And i didn't get to meet Umairah at all. Sheesh. But it was okay. She and Fishy called to meet Alan and i on the 19th, our 3rd anniv day(ehem! ehem!), specially to give me a Tinkerbell lingerie bought somewhere in KL just for me. Hehehe. I love it like-oh-so-much. Im sucha proud owner of it. Hurhur. They bought it just because the name reminded them of me. Aww~. Thankyouu yahh. *jumpy jumpy*

Ok back to the KL trip.. I really went for the sake of the X-game, if ya'll didn't know. And i was super flabbergusted when i actualy get to witness yet another fantastic display of the fmx. Matty McFarren was sucha a hunk. I-am-so-in-love-with-him. Hehe. Handsome nyer tak boleh angkat. Heh. Right Alan? Khekhekhe. Sinclair was the best. He took my breath away with numerous backflips. Others did uberly great too hokay. A very good demo indeed. I loved it. Even the scorching sun doesn't kill my enthusiasm. I braved the oh-so-very-hot sun, the sudden rain and the irrititating-pushies from other spectators. And i have a happy ending.

Strolling down the roads of KL together was fun. We're like a classy cool troop from nowhere. Haha. Seriously, we walked alot. Effing alot i tell you. All due to reasons which you peeps don't even want to know. Heh. And yet we were all so energized for all kinds of actions. So, we clubbed on the 2nd night after we endured a hot day in the sun and a super loooooong walk of around the city. Hurhur. It was such an experience i can say. Kinda cool. I mean the club though. Hurhur. futhermore our apartment was situated at the heart of the clubbing den. Coooool~..

There's so much more to share about the holiday but i think i shall just keep the remaining as part of my sweetest memories had in my life. Simply, i had a blast time with the BUnits. Thanx to those who have made it possible. And in my case, my Alan. Thankyouu dear for the memorable trip we had.

Yeahh, i have pixxies to share. But not that alot to count. I'm still waiting for those taken with Qish and others' digi. Weyy, bila mau kasi? Heheheh.

And yeahh, Alan and i had our 3rd anniv. We had no plans initially but after the 1st stroke of the clock, everything seems to fall into place. We had a good time together. Our window shopping at IKEA was fun. But didn't exactly manage to find what Alan wants. And finally, i get to watch my movie and it was at The Cathay. Over The Hedge was uberly funny. Totally recommended by us yahh. Hehehe.

Hokayy, tommorow i might be going down to the BUnit compound. Weee~. Hehe. I loike. But maybe lahh. It all depends on the bike. *cross-fingers* And next week, there'll be a race somewhere in Malaysia. Few of the BUnits are taking part. Hmm. Nak pegi ke tak eeh.. Qish Qish ajak.. Umairah ajak.. Ermm, nevermind. I have a week more to decide. Heheheh.

Ok lahh, gambar time lahh hokay. Non-edited. Seen below are just a handful of them jer. I'll upload more along the way ookies. Meantime, enjoy~..

*watching video footages of 2006 together..

*us in the apartment lift. hehe. nice eeh..

*my new found love, the human mannequin. hurhur. it's elfi and his new bought sweater actually.

* fishy fishy and the shy mannequin now..

*the twin was seperated. and so it's the bunit and the single tower of kl. heh.

*shammy, alaaan, maac.

*candid shot of fishy and alan.

*the BUnit tak habis habis posing.. giler gambar kot. hahaha.

*alan and sham..

*cool huh. hurhurhur.

*x-game. brought to you by espn. sponsored by kia and supported by me, me , me. heh.

*spot the x game arena. it's all happenin in sunway lagoon.

*hurhur. rafeah, qish qish and mine.

*x game merchandise on sale. and we bought the tees. hehehe.

*that's sincs on his effing nice bike. grrr. i like that.

*the freestyles. woohooo. noticed the backflip.. ooh my gawd. hurhur.

*the fantabulous dirtbikes. yeeha.

*hokay. goodbye now. see, wave goodbye to the riders too yahh. hurhur. till my next entry, toodles-do.

2006-05-11T21:05:00.000+08:00

It's already the 11th. And in less than 24 hrs later, Alan, myself and friends are heading off to KL. Wee~.. Hehehe. Im excited and sad. Ohohoho.

So before i go further, i would like to extend my thanks to dear friends who flooded my mails, msn, sms-es and tagboard messages with words of concerns and care. Thankyouu all. Appreciate it lots. In a way or another, yall enlightened me. Chedebah. Heheh. So it's all better now. Alhamdulilah~..

On the serious note, yahh, thanks all.. Im grateful. I've only realised now that there's lotsa peeps out there who are being 'kepo' in a good way. Hehehe. No offence yahh. *peace* Haha. I never knew there's like more than a handful of peeps who frequent my blogg. Thank you all. I've made lotsa friends now. And keep it coming yahh. Keep the circle of friendship grooooowing~

Some might, or keep reminding me, that judging from how Alan and i got together, we'll never last. And some even told me that, i'm close to dumb for believing that such relationship do works. Well people, let's not be the God here. Seriously, i can never know how my fairytale life will end. But one thing i know for sure, the present now is what most important.

I was advised by quite a number of peeps to delete the last few entries. Yeahh, and that's what i intended to do. It was a lil too harsh and all that jazz. I've noted. But what important here is that, that was what happened once in this humble epistle of my life. A story in one of my days lived. Definitely it's not possible for my to erase that from reality. It affected me in every way. So i've decided to let those entries stay. But please, remember, that all was written when i was full of angst. I've chose to rant that way. Sorry yeahh.

As for now, im glad that the glitches between me and Alan is somehow resolved. Yes people, he does read my entries. And im glad that he does. It's due to that that he came to a more understanding term with me. And for those who asked, no, Alan and i never broke off. We are still an item. I treasured him. And i certainly do love him with all my heart. I wouldn't hope for us to part. Then again, fate's in God's hand.

I believed, yall do sense some wierdness reading my entries. Kejap happy nak mampos, kejap mengamuk macam anak setan.. Well, bear this, all i've written are just moments in life. Not every frame. Of course the story does not link, ookies. As long as i still enjoy typing and story-telling, yall get updates. Hehe. Thanks for visiting yahh.

Ok, enough said. So yeahh, im off to KL. My prince and friends as well. Cool ain't it? Hehe. Im excited like a small lil kiddo who just got her first bike. And at the same frigging time, im sad. im sure to miss my dear parents. Being away from my family is hard for me. I've always been the manja one. Haiz. But it's an experience and opprtunity. Maklum lah, the first time ever i'm travelling with just friends. Cool kan.. Hehehe.

Well, so many things are for me to do before i go. So, hope yall are patient enough to wait for me to come back and update when i've the time. Hehehehe. Bole lahh.. Heh.

Ok some brief updates about the past week. Alan had his new cpu and it's called iCute. Heheh. Bleaurgh. He even got himself his new handphone line of a multi sim card and bought me a new celly. A bubble gum pink Motorola L6. Hehe. Oh yeahh, so i am holding on to the other sim card. So don't be surprised yahh if any of you called his no and im the one who picked it up. Hurhur. It's all because it's the same effing number with two sim card. Hohoho. Ok, if it sounded too complicated for you to understand, go enquire at any M1 retail shop ookies. Go ask about multi sim. Heh.

Ermm. Aper lagi eeh.. Oh yeahh, Mimi, Alan's dear kitty, is sick. I feel sooo sad too. Omg. I've grown attached to it ya know. Get well soon yahh Mimi. Your dear master Alan will nurse you back to health. Hope that dear master Alan of yours will remember to feed you your medicine on time. Hehe.

Ok lahh, i really have to get back to my things-to-be-done list. Here are some pixxies to share. Not edited yahh. Sorry, no time. Hehe. Btw, it was taken a few days back. Alan and i had a superb dinner at the Fish and Co, Glass House. It was a wonderful evening. Oh well, i shall still say this words everytime here; I love you dear Prince. Hehe.

((PIXXIES))

*that's what i ate. the all time fav fish&chips. alan ate grilled salmon. mmm. yum yum.

*he can't wait. he straight away tucked in even before i get to snap a pic of his dish. hurhur.

*im reading their mothers' day promo. heheh. cooool. ((:

*wow. sampai menjilat jari. sure sedap. heheh.

*burp. sooo full and contented. thanx eeh prince for the meal. ((:

*our footwear. sponsored by adidas and fallen. oh how we wish. hurhur.

*tribute to us, the bunits. hehehee. our hand gestures. ((:

*alan's silly face literally altered by me. heheh.

*simply US. the one and only, alyn and alan. hurhur. ((:

Ok lahh. That's all folks. Toodles-do.

2006-05-05T13:33:00.000+08:00

...

Kita ni kan, macam unopened can tau. Tin sardin ke, tin minyak ker, terpulang lah. Ok, mungkin tak semua orang. Mungkin sesetengah orang ajer. Myself included.

Asal eeh..

NOT that we prefer to keep things to ourselves. Coz at the end of the day, kita mesti let go punya. Spill the beans to our friends ke, mother ke.. Dan yang sewaktu dengan nya lah. It's not that. Partly, maybe.

Kalau kita amek satu tin, say an unopened can of sardine, for example. We grab it, and knock it hard on the tip of a wall. What will happen? The can is dented, kan? Ok power. Now, without opening it up, try to shape the can back to its normal shape.. Possible? No?

Ok back to the unopened sardine can. For as long, the can remain unopened, we can never.. Never shape it back to normal. But if we open the can, the chances of shaping it back to normal are there. But we can never do it, if there's something inside too. We need to pour whatever inside out before we can do anything to the can. Sometimes, we don't even have to pour everything out.. A lil will do. But even if we get to shape it back, it will never be as perfect as it was before.

Similarities... Damage done, can never be undone. We can always forgive.. Always. But we find it difficult to forget. Even if we try to mend whatever dent there is, we can never make it fine totally. Sakit tetap rasa. Tak banyak, sikit mesti ada.

Physical bruises kan.. Bila bila boleh baik punya. Letak koyok, letak handyplus, letak minyak senyonyong, Insya'allah given time, dia baik. Tapi mental and emotional bruises, takde obat beb. Lu telan itu minyak senyonyong satu botol pon lom tau leh baik. Jadi biol lagik ada. Ye tak?

Most often than not, we need to let go some steam to make ourselves feel better. Talk to a friend, to parents, to siblings.. To whatever makes you happy. Just to lighten the burden. With their advice, words of wisdom, encouragement and with a lil bit of time, the wounds slowly heals. But the scar remains... Will always remain.

The point is, for as long kita tak open up.. Kita pendam kan perasaan kita.. Selagi tu kita rasa sakit hati teramat sangat. Luahkan perasaan tak semestinya condemn the other party ok. And when kita open up to others, don't expect things to be perfect again. It takes time to be fine. Even if it heals, we will never.. Never be the same again.

The slob in Ice Age II says; You have to let go off the past.. To have a future.

I say; Stagnant water kills a fish.. Stagnant life kills a man..

So.. move on, beb.

Ok, that's extracted. But what's written is purely some reality facts. Maybe one should consider about this. Maybe it helps. Well, up to individuals. Let's move on ok people.

BTW, thanx all for the 'words of care and concern'. Very much appreciated.

Hyda; i know what you meant. i'll keep it all in mind. maybe apply them for future use? thanx again.

Danny; i was simply torn. i know. i was never like this. i may be a strong witted woman but deep in, im just the same lil girl. i cry. i get terrified. im weak. just like other normal girls.

Shaun; it's something i would like to remain it as personal. but thanx for the concern anyway. like i said, i'll be ok. it'll take time.

Wawan; i may have overreacted. im all patient now. well, if friends are always on the higher priority then girlfriends, i'd rather be his friends. at the very least he's there when i fall. i don't get it. but thanx for the remark. it's ok, it helps me to analyze better.

Vierra; we ladies have egos too. like i said, in dealing certain issues, our egos are very much higher than the mens. they are not to blame in everything. it's unfair. we're all humans, same complication. but that doesn't mean im all to blame in this issue. that, you're right. i agree. by the way, nice name you have.

2006-05-03T06:36:00.000+08:00

That's it. I had enough. I don't care about love anymore with you. You'll do anything for others and yourself. You don't give a shit about me. You don't even spare a thought for me. I hate you. I really do. You make me suffer more than the pain im feeling. I'm fucking hurt physically and emotionally. Ennoooouuughh!!!!!

I HATE YOU

2006-05-02T13:57:00.000+08:00

I don't know what else to say. When here i am struggling for some care and affection, there he is, putting others above me. Yes, i am talking about my boyfriend, Alan. I don't care if he reads this. I have the right to yakk here. And at the very least, i don't lie. Not every thing and every day is a perfect one. I am not looking for sympathies here. And yes of course, i am just complaining. Complaining to whoever that is reading. Look, i'm still weak and sick. And damn it, i am so farking sick of feeling this sickness. Fuck.

He saw how me being all lifeless yester-night, he was all remorseful. For that, he was the one who initiated on coming. I understood his care. In fact i appreciated it. And he started to make me feel effing better when he promised me 'rainbows and bird flies'. Fuck. And i believed. I shouldn't even expect anything to be coming from a guy, even my own boyfriend.

Another day, another time, he so-called 'abandon' me again today. Well, i should have expected. So much for everything, Alan. Damn. Why must things turn out this way. After all, you didn't even make things any better for me. You said you care? Well, where were you when i needed you? Yeahh, rescuing your friends. I totally understand.

Gosh. How i wish i just recuperate fast. Be able to do what normal 20 years old bitches does again. I'm sick of uncertainties. Im sick of anger. Im sick of not being ok. Im sick of not being the one, when it comes to you.

2006-05-01T05:06:00.000+08:00

It's finalised, with proof.

Everything's fine now.

I'm happy, i'm glad.

Don't worry, i'll be ok.

The pain will definitely go away.

But it'll take a few days.

For now, it's excruciating.

Pain as hell, i'm simply dying.

But i can only keep crying.

Going through all this without you. It's simply painful. But at the very least, we know now. I feel that it's worth every risks i took. I don't mind, putting my life on the line. As long as i know, you'll be safe in return..

Love.. It definitely worth the sacrifices. For you sweetheart. I'm sorry. I'll rest for now. I'll see you when i see you.

2006-04-30T13:15:00.000+08:00

Woahh. Ever since the new taggy, yall really know how to find me ay. Sheesh. Haha. Alright, many doesn't favour the new taggyboardy. Leceh lahh, merepek lahh, etc etc etc. Some really know how to make full use of it. Hurhur. Bravadoo. Whatever the shiznits, i am not changing the taggy. At least for now. Heh.

Ookies. I would like to give a looouud shoutout to Wawan; my fellow bloggie, msn kaki, sweet-funny friend of mine, a Bon Voyage yahh. Hurhur. He's off to i-don't-know-where doing i-don't-know-what for an f-ing 6 months. Sheesh. Good luck with the MAK Salleh thingy ookies. Haha. Just be back safe and sound. I'll be waaaaaiting for your safe return. Ameen.

Alright, other than that, i'm having my worst days. I can only afford to sigh, be sad, be abnormal. How else can i help myself in this. I don't know. My sensitivity and paranoia is running sooo high. I am certainly ~~not~~ my usual self. Alan, i'm all confused about me, myself and i. I totally understand the rush you are going through, work, friends and all. But please, im begging you, im soo not healthy now. Im soo disturbed. So please don't trigger me. Don't hurt me in any way. As fragile as i am, i am bound to solitudity. Don't ~~push~~ me. Please.

At this frigging moment, i am not feeling good. Furthermore yester-night wasn't a good night at all. Not only i had too much to drink, i know that i endangered my life. Regrets? Im so full of it. All the time. And yeahh, i bought a new jeans from Giordano, and as usual, i regretted. Why? I don't know..

I regretted for what happened. Why? I just don't see you portraying what you really feel inside your self. In the end, we have to quarrel over it just to make me understand the real you. Damn. Ah. The day had passed. Let's just put it behind us. When you walked away, i thought, it's ~~over~~. I turned and walked away with my mind full of nothingness. I walked so fast, i don't know what else to do. But just to let you know, the moment you ran back to hold me tight in your arms, i felt soo emotional. The sincerity i felt from you was so strong. You teared for me. I realized how much i need you, want you, love you, treasure you. I just wish to be with you, all the time. The tears we shed, the warmth and the sense of relief, i shall remember that. I wish not to go through such with you again dear. Let that be a lesson for us both. I love you and i stay true to that. And i know and believe the same from you.

I miss Alan like oh-so-much. As much as i need him beside me, he have responsibilities. I hope today and tommorow's shoot will be a breeze for you. After all, i shall endure every single day with you. Gosh. I just love him.

Being at home to recuperate today, i spent my time MTV whoring. Tuned in to most of the cable's channel. Besides that, i fit in at the same time, downloading songs. So a lil bit here and there to keep me off boredom. Oh yeahh, i miss Razli. I wish to meet up with that bestie of mine sometime soon.

Seems like those '21 and above' peeps are excited. Yeahh yeahh, the Progress Package dough is in. Enjoy habis sehh. Have a good time ~~spending~~ yahh. Heh. Till my next entry yall. Toodles.

2006-04-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

I've put back a source in my shoutbox column. Though it's not the tagboard nor the shoutbox or whatever dang you peeps call it, this new online chat is i think will be of a good regulation to me and you. Hurhur. Don't complain. Be at the least contented please. Better than nothing right? Haha. Kesian kan mereka mereka yang merayu mintak taggy balik, that's why i put up that online-chat-tag board. No more anonymous tagging. Oooh. What a wonderful world. You don't like me, you tell me straight up online to me. If otherwise, oh tell the whole world puh-leeese. Hehehe. Kidding. Ookies, enough of that. Partly next, i'm guilty for the lack of updates. So im sorry for another looong winding entry. Nak baca, baca. Tanak sudah. Heh. Thanx for visiting though. Heee.

Hmm. Currently i'm like missing my Prince sooo much. He's out to help Rudi today. Or i shall say the whole day today. Hehe. So i decided to stay home. My dollars in the bank pon dah fast decreasing. I simply can't wait for my pay check by Keith. Maklumlah, i won't be getting any Progress Package shiznits. So that pay is the only thing i look forward to next month. Sheesh. Poor me. Heh.

I snipped my hair a few days back. OMG. I missed my pony. Sheesh. Okayy, Alan was with me to witness the cut-off. He brought me to the White Salon at Bedok one rainy evening. And so at that point-of-no-return, i was glad that i really did get a new haircut.

My blur prince loved it. I gues i'm okayy with this new look. Hee. And yeahh, the color, don't even think of asking me. Eaurgh. Disaster. Simply a disaster. Well, ask Alan. He would love to tell the whole world about my stupidity. Heh.

The tee i wore in the pix was a gift from Qish-Qish. Hehe. She recently went for a holiday in Bangkok and brought some souvenirs for us all here. I looove that tee. It's green. I love it. And it's Heineken. I simply love it. Haha. But that's not all. She bought me a chimey anklet, a cute tiny ciggy box and Etnies keychains. Simply adorable of her right. Hehe. She bought for my Alan an Etnies cap, just like her Sham-Sham's. And yahh, a cool tee for Alan too. Not forgetting some stuffs for Mac, Syahman, Fishy, Acit, and all lahh. Woahh. Simply sweet of her to remember us all . Bought soo many gifts just for us. Thankyouu gorgeous!! Hehe.

Talking about holiday, i may be joining the BUnit crew to KL this May. Going in as a troop to witness the X-Game. Woohoo. The hell i missed my dearies Pastrana, Twitch and others at the recent Redbull X-Fighter showcase a week ago at Science Park. Alan and i totaly missed it. Damnn. But Sham, Mac, Syahman and Indra enjoyed their worth of time witnessing the freestyles. They said it was cool with some new complicated tricks. How they ~~envy~~ those riders. Hee. Coincidently, Ally and gang too going to KL somewhere same time. Yeayness. If, i go lahh. Hehehehe. Random.

Btw, we chatted about the tricks and all over tea at Arab St. After all that, we headed down the lane for a good shishaaa. Woahhh. Niceee. We took apple flavour. On top of it all, we played some lame-o magic and tricks. Hehehe.

So after all that jazz, we decided to head to simpz. Heheh. Where else but simpang. Favourite of all favourite.

Okayy, this is really traumatising. On our way to simpz, we almost got bang by a cabbie. Damn it. The traffic was farking red on the other junction and definitely green on ours. But this farking cabbie totally was out of his dazing mind, was going at about 80kmPh and dash across the road at its red. Indra was already at his nearbang with the cab and Syahman was abit luckier. Of all, Alan was the most far-est. But unlucky for this motorist, he got banged. Damn. An accident occured right in front of me. I was terrified as well as traumatised. Later, as soon as we reached simpz, that incident was our topic of the night. Sheesh. Haha. Klakar seram uhh.

So the past days before that, i really don't know what in the world happened. Haha. But i surely remembered spending time with my Alan and the lappy. Hurhur. We spent many other nights surfing the net, doing this and that with the lappy. Hehe.

Anyway, Alan just called me awhile ago. He's just checking. Hurhur. He asked if i would like to stay over at Kimlin tonight. Sigh. Si mamat ni satu eeh, tak fikir tau dia pasal kerja dia and all. I really hate it when he can go the extra mile just for friends but otherwise on me. I hate that alot. He can just be special for them. Treat them far better than me. I just hate that. Futhermore, he's forgetting about the important and urgent things that he needs to do before the weekend. Seriously. Usually, that just what spoils my entire mood and day. Every time.

Though both the ladies and gentlemen do have egos, i can't deny the fact that our egos are different when dealing with different issue. Yeahh, i don't deny that i have a ~~thick~~ layer of ego. Everyone else sure do have that. We're humans. It's the amount of it that makes everyone different. But i simply dislike that side of Alan. C'mon, don't expect me to hold your hand every step you walk and tell you every move to make right. You are the man. You should know or at the very least, learn how to make your woman happy. And yeahh, that goes for me too. When you make me angry, i ~~dislike~~ you. But at the same time, i'm trying to understand you. And of course, i want you to be happy. I want to be the one who makes you happy.

Okayy, whatever it is, he went to help the Kinemats' after a looong hard day work with Rudi. Sheesh. Suka hati lahh. Later after that, then he'll be having his meal. Sigh. Kalau dah jumpa diorang-diorang tu sumer, tak tau lahh ni ape akan jadi. Well, Alan, i bid you farewell in this. I wash my hands off you. Do whatever. I just couldn't care less. I hope the hurt im feeling would fade soon. And the more i shall not be straight to you or quarrell with you. I'll keep. I'll let myself die, slowly. But no doubt, i've no intention of leaving you. I love you. And i sure do miss you.

Oh yeahh, recently, under the void, i spotted this adorable kitty. Damn, it's lovely. It really reminded me of Momo, the kitty me and my mates took care of back then in ITE Bedok. I missed it. And so Momo was golden brown and yet the adorable kitty i found was simply specky white. But both are sucha gem. Damn. See the resemblance below.

Whitey

Momo

Sweet ain't it. Gosh. Im beat. Good night. Sweet dreams cherries.

2006-04-19T09:57:00.000+08:00

Yeahh yeahh. I know. I took out the shoutbox. 'Why' is your question and 'i had it' is my answer. Heheh. Abuse lahh lagi. Padan muka. Soo, go find other ways to talk to me ookies. Email ke.. MSN ke.. SMS ke.. Whatever else lahh. Gosh. I'm gonna miss the crapps from yall. NOT. *evil grin*

Aaaah. Sweet sweet life. Finally got to have my dear lappy back for a few night. Hehe. Missed editting and designing crapps lahh. So i've been out, most of the time. Oh wait, all the time. Haha. Been spending tonnes of time with Alan, as well as his friends. And for the record, we've been ~~quarrelling~~. Don't ask me what about. For goodness sake, i don't even know. But not until yesterday, we both met up under my void and we try to resolve things. It's worth the while, worth every drop of tears, worth every notch of deciBels increased, worth every thing. We managed to really open up and talk. Alhamdulilah, we cleared all misunderstandings and doubt. Hopefuly, Alan & Alyn is now back on track.

Zouk 15th anniversary was simply fantabulous. Heheh. Loove it. But the hell, i only went to their first day line-up. But it was the best. Alan and i was helping Rudi out at the shop earlier that day. We then proceeded to a condo situated somewhere in the west to join Mariam, Rida and others, for drinks. It was sucha cool place i tell you. Fendi was already there when we reach. Met Tini, Polina, and a few ang moh friends of theirs. Heheh. Gereek ya know. I simply cant take my eyes of that handsome hunky. OMG. I forgot his name. But the hell i remembered his beau's name, it's Carla. Hahaha. Ok ok, all of us then zoom down to Zouk about 1am.

After a while, the ladies went up to Phuture. The musiq was grooving and pumping and i looike. Hurhur. I pulled Alan along with me wherever i went. Heh. I just need him, all the time. Sooo, not so long later, all the other dudes came to join us. The whole lot of us enjoyed our time dancing, drinking(again!) and mingling. Cheers people! Haha.

Later, everyone else went back down to Zouk but Alan and i secretly stayed put. Hurhur. Honestly, i had the best yet memorable dance with Alan that night. I can't possibly explain the exhuberant feeling i felt. Simply wonderful. Damn. Thanx sweet prince for all that! It was really magical.

Ok lahh, to summarise the story, we collected our crystal ball exclusively from the management of Zouk and i got to keep it. Yeayness. Thankyouu again princey. Hehe. Met up with loadsa frenzies there such as Is, Lisa, and more lahh. Akira was there too. Most Kinemats were there. Hurhur. That night Mariam, Rudi, Alan and i went back to Mariam's apartment at Grange Rd; Kimlin Apartment. We spent our night there and i watched the first four episodes of Desperate Housewives season one. Heheheheheh.

The next morning, Rudi went out to work and the 3 of us jalan jalan at Orchard. Tawaf Far East for like few rounds sehh. Hurhur. We shopped abit, eat alot, yakked the most. Haha. I bought a Zara tank top. Urgh. Pastu menyesal. Don't know why. We even chilled at the Hyatt Cigar place. OMG. Stepping kaya sehh. But simply fantastic lahh. and the drinks are like effing expensive. Boom sehh!

Later that night, joined by Akira and Rida, we went to Sengkang to take a look at the Isrida family soon-to-be new home. Lawa jugak uhh. After which, we all headed down to Jalan Kayu for supper. The three couples and the ladies looked sooo slack. Isssk. And we three was actualy in the first stage of falling sick. Sheeeesh.

The next day, Rida and Mariam had to tend their stalls at the flea market organised at The Cathay. The Kinemats people were there too and Alan was out since early that morning working with them. I came down only about half an hour before closing down. Hurhur. Tired taau after days of improper sleep. And i simply sympathize my Alan. Shagged to the max.

After i helped them packed up, Mariam, Rida, Rudi and myself chilled at Kimlin after sending back all the stuffs to Rida's shop back at the Arcade. So while waiting for my prince and Akira to finish up some work before coming to fetch their princesses at the apartment, the rest of us chilled and rested. Mariam, Rida and i slept while waiting. Hurhur.

Soon after the guys reached, we headed down to Newton for supper. But without Rudi. Some dispute uuh between the couple. Soo, it's just the five of us. Da kenyang perut, we went back to the apartment and watched Date Movie. Hurhur. Ok, da abis, Alan and i balik. Haha. Ok lahh. Penat lahh type panjang panjang. Though i know i oweyall days of updates, puhleeese gimme a break ookies. Hehehehe.

Ok, tonight, my Prince and i are celebrating our 2nd month anniv. It falls on the 19th actualy. Eeeeek kental kan. Hurhur. But whatever it is, we're meeting up. Insya'allah, we're going to have a nice supper and all. So honey, this is for you..

It has been 2 months now. Exactly the same day two months ago, we first met and had our first kiss. We fell in love on our very first date. And here we are, we grew stronger by day, each day. We shumble on our journey, but im so glad that it only bond us closer. Days spent with you can never be enough. On this very day, i seek forgiveness for all the hurts i've caused. And like wise to you. I love you Alan. Happy 2 months. (((:

Hehehehe. Ok, take care yall! Toodles.

2006-04-12T19:42:00.000+08:00

To My Special Someone

I'm sorry.

I'm soo wrong.

I hurt you bad, i know and i'm guilty.

Forgive me please.

I can't bear to breath without you.

I can't let you go, never.

Sincerely, i need you

Forgive me, once again.

Maybe i should not ask.

Maybe i'm too into you that i can't bear the sight nor the hearings of you with some other.

Do you know that it ~~hurts~~ me too deep?

Do you know that i feared the moment i heard it from you?

And do you know that i teared the moment my cellphone went silent?

I don't know what exactly i want from you.

But i do know what i really need.

You should know it too.

You said you know me, inside out.

But i guess, you misunderstood me at the end.

I'm ignored, by you.

It's more hurting now.

P/S:
Krunk KriB, a hip hop party on the 11th may at Club Home. It's $20 for pre-sale and $25 for door sale, includes 1 free drink, 1 hour free flow, 2 hours of Hip Hop performances by local hip hop talents like W.D.C , RVN, Lady E, Krashed Lines, Smoove Soul, LadyElle, Lady D and many more! Plus, there is a bar top dance competition! Party ends at 6am!!! Call ((Feizel)) at 93842864 now for tickets! Tickets are selling fast!!!

Anybody's interested? Well, i am. Am gonna be there to support my friend, who's the organizer. Kudos.

2006-04-11T20:45:00.000+08:00

Helloooo buggeroos. Hmmm. Missed blogging? Naaah. I can't be bothered nowadays. I noted the risk every single time i post something here for the public to read. Again i realized the consequences i've to face. Well, let's just say that i don't care. Whatever anybody else feels or think, it's up to you peeps to analyze. I'm done with all this. Umpteen times i've emphasized, my blog, my say. My rules, my life, my way. Geddit. Damn.

I don't geddit sometime. Why do the past matters most? Alan. He assured me that the past are waaaay history. He asked to share. And walla! I did. But in the end, he shagged me with soo much confusion. I told him my darkest secrets, shared my past doings. Told him about the ex-es and stuff, and we quarelled. Then came this girl. I just wish to help a friend. Can't he understand that? He objected. To him, it's ridiculous to help someone due to the past. What am i wrong to do this? It got nothing to do with me now, i know. He cares, i know. Didn't he think someehere in his head that i'm just helping a friend? I don't wish to put my relationship in the line. Ah. What the hell. Fark all this shits.

Ok lahh. Put the anger aside. The past few days i'm like a rag doll. Been doing the same old shit everyday. Friends are such a bum. Giving me all the shits every single time. Aah. Again, to hell with it.

Anyway, watched a stupiak movie few days back. Ultraviolet. Storyline, sucks. Plot, merepek nak mampos. Effex, kinda cool. Overall, hancai. Alan even slept while watching. Hancur uh dikni. Not to mention Mariam, she slept during the last 10 minutes. The only person who enjoyed the movie, Rudi. Haiyaaah. Excited gilur siak tu anak. Hurhur. But sincerely, thank youu sooo much Mariam for the treat. Hehehee.

And so i did went to Cocco Latte. Duuh. At last. Hahaha. Nice decor i can say. Lovely place to chill. Musiq jer got a lil weak uuh. Issk. Alan said toilet dier cool nak mampos. But i donno uh. Never go in. Hancai siak. Hehe.

Okay, got to know from Deedee that the band, Soup of The Day, is looking for a new bassist. Heheheh. Soo long Dayne. Good bye. Enjoy your time with your new so-called band yahh. Hurhur. Am i being a devil here? Ooopsy. But deedee assured me that that's the angel in me speaking. Hahahaha. Love this guy.

I said soo much now. And in this entry i'm like sooo not myself. Sheesh. Don't know lahh why. Aah. No mood to blogg oready. Till next time lahh.

Oh yess, Alan is really going off to Malaysia this weekend. Yikes. Stress, stress, stress. Alaaah. Like real ah me. Skali without knowing, i'll be having the best days of my life. Kuakuakua.

Eleeh. Trying to stay positive jer ni. Hehe. Seriously, i'm worried for him. And also for myself. Haaaiz. Am gonna really spend my time cukup cukup dengan dier before the weekend. Sorry lahh eeh to all friends. This next few days, he's all mine. Hahaha. *evil laugh*

Anyway, photobucket is being sucha whore. Can't upload the chalet pixxies. And i'm soo lazy to use other means. SORRY. Hurhur.

2006-04-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hey sweet darlings. Wahh. Soo good eeh. It's been sometime since i last updated and none did really irritate me to do so. I feel good. Na na na na na na na. Hurhur.

Anyway, just a brief update ookies. It's been like weeks i left my lappy untouched. Not been online i meant. Been busy with i-don't-know-what. Heheheee. No pixxies for this entry as i'm popping them up in the next entry once i've uploaded. So this entry is a message to tell yall that im still somewhat alive and kicking. Haiyah!

Sham legend's birthday chalet was fun. It was a surprise sweetly made by his wonderful beau, Qi'sha. Alan's been soo effing busy since the 1st April, helped Qi'sha and the rest out. A job well done by Qi'sha. I finally get to meet and have some fun with the rest and the whole lot of the BUnit crews. Haha. But got alot missing too lahh. Either they are abroad or somewhere. Heh. Met up with Mel and Vel again. Gosh it's been some time. Not forgetting Umairah, Fishy's beau. Missed her truckloads. Got to know Ilie better. Yeayness. Did some catching up with Mariam. Met Linda and Jas again. Heheh. Spent fabulous time with Mac, Acit, Syahman and Legend himself. Sachok, Pendek, Man, Sham, Rudi, Indra and more lahh. Sooo many peeps came for the two nights chalet. It was a fun gathering. Weeee~.. Oh yahh, not forgetting Alan. He left me wandering most of the time. Boo-hoo.

Ok, two days back, the dudes and me the only dudette, met up at simpz before Sham Legend drive off back to Malaysia. Harry, the dirtrider from the neighbouring country, came down here to Singapore to pick Sham. So, Sham have a performance on the next coming weekend. Alan and friends are heading off to Shah Alam to witness the show. They'll be there for like 3 days i think. Gereeeek sehh. Isssk. Im sooo gonna miss my Prince later. Urgh. Shall not say later. Im already feeling weak deep in. I miss him sooo much now. Hehe. Didn't meet him today.

Went to watch a Ice Age 2 yesterday. It was sooo fun. Right Prince? Heheh. Got to baring and watch lagi. Sooo comfy. Heheh. And newsflash for yall. I changed my hair color by accident. Oooh yess. I really have no comment to this new look. I shall post a pix of my new hairdo and yall shall comment. Haaaaaiz. Aiyah, im upset enough. Don't wanna talk about it. It's 7 am now and im going to rest my eyes. Meeting Alan later and im sooo not prepared for him to see this new color on my head. Bleaurgh. Oh yess, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!! Hehehe. Love youuu! Till the next entry ookies. Toodles.

2006-03-29T08:41:00.000+08:00

Well, well, well. I'm sorry if the picture is too sweet for the diabetics out there. Heheh. Ok, im having my so-called recess now. Taking a break from work. Sheeeesh.

Turns out to be, the 1st vid for Tag Hueur need no more changes. Weeee. Hehe. Happy liao. But the 2nd vid needs new texts and all. Aiyahh. So im working on it lahh right now. Keith needs them by tomorrow. Sooo, gotta finish them up quick. And yes, yes, yes. New project awaiting. Weeeeee. Hehehehe.

Yesterday i was out with Alan to town. Did a lil wee bit of shopping, had dinner and we then proceeded to work. Goshness. I was having such a baaaad gastric attack and i could barely stand straight. Since Alan showered me with sooo much care, concern and love, i was okay soon after. Heh. Menyampah eeh.

I was working on the Isrida tie project when Rudy came by. It's been quite some time since i last saw him and Mariam. Miss them sooo. But Rudy told us that he and Mariam was having a tiff. Sooo, no Mariam for that day. Isssk. Kiss and make up lahh. How about a home run? Hahahaha. Gosh, i really miss them. Ok, so Rudy left early to catch his last bus home.

Soon after my lappy's battery went dead, we packed up and off to Mustaffa Centre. Hahaha. Did some shopping again. It was sooo much fun. Alan and i played pretend that we were shopping for our own home. Eeee. Kental kan. Haha. But yeahh, how we wish we were.

It's always been difficult for the both of us to let each other go at the very end of the day. We miss each other every single frame, even when we're beside one another. The last kiss for the day usually tastes sooo good that we wish not to let it go. Hugging never felt soo comfortable and right like now before.

But yesterday, something striked my mind. The future. His future. Our future. None of you readers might understand why and all. It's all between Alan and i. I was worried. Questions and thoughts ran wild in my tiny brain. The fact is, i worry for him. And i don't wish any of that to break the relationship apart. I love him. And i know he feels the same for me too. If i were to choose, i'll definetely stay. Nothing can beats having all the happiness in life. Difficulties will always arise. But love and happiness, not just anyone can deliver the way that i like it right now. Gosh. I hope this will be a factor no more.

Ok lahh, got to go now. Alan just woke up and i missed his voice. And i need to get back to work after that. We're meeting again today. But today's gonna be a proper QT day for us. Hehe. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Heh. OMG. I sounded sooo kental in this entry eeh. Soo the mushy. Too bad, too deep in love. Heheh. Toodle-do.

2006-03-27T20:42:00.000+08:00

Helloooooo. Hahaha. Ooooh. Wawan, nak ajak semua orang mogok eeh.. Nanti, whenever you miss a day to update your blogg, i'll alias with all the bloggers to mogok back at you. Heeehe. Miss chatting with you lahh crazy dude. *winks*

Ok, im sorry to all the loyal blogging friends of mine. I've missed days and days of updates. Soo sorry. Ermm, lemme see.. What happened the last few days eeh? Hmm..

Working with Keith Su was a breeze. Thank Allah. Hee. Sometimes when you embark yourself on a new working environment, it's good to be effing clueless and worried. At least you know at the end of the day, unintentionally, you prepared yourself. Heh. Some tips ay. Well, after like days working at Music and Movement, i felt a lil wee bit more confident myself of starting my career in the media industry. Meeting Najib Ali, for goodness sake he's the big boss of Dua M, was very inspirational and exciting. Hehe. I remembered the first time i met him. My heart raced. Then after, it was sooo comfortable talking to him and seeing him work with the rest of the colleagues. A very fun dude indeed. Gila-gila tapi creative and sooo the bijak you know. Haha. And so is Azni, the creative director. Goshness. This bunch of peeps in Dua M are just fantabulous people. I'm so grateful to have Keith guiding me all this while. He's a fantabulous editor and creative person. Thank you Keith for the opportunity.

My first project is due for Tag Hueur. A short brief; Tag Hueur is launching a brand new watch this July and it's called Monaco 69. This coming Friday, they are hosting a gay party(oh yes. a gay party.) and we are acquired to do two video teasers on the watch. The 1st one's done and i hope noooo more changes puh-leeese. *cross-fingers*

As for now, i'm still doing a project for Isrida boutique. I'm to do an animation. Goshness. Still pening seh till now. And another project for Aeroline, i'm to design some corporate business tie for them. Sheeesh. Luuuuucky me, Alan is with me through all this. Every time, every day. Hehe. Thanks Prince.

Well, it's been every day i spend my life away with Alan. Work, leisure, fun, etc. Yeahh, we do go through some misunderstandings. But it only lasted for like a minute or two. We would talk things out, find a good solutions to it and wind it all up with some hugs and kisses. Weeee. Heh. Love the way my relationship works. Love youu lahh Prince. And poor him, his home comp went kapoof! a few days back. Sheesh. What a lost! Damn. So start planning, planning, planning. No pc, no work, no life. Isssk. Poor deary. How i wish i can help you in this. The most i can do is be there for you whenever dear. Sigh. Take it easy ookies. We'll definetely figure ourt something.

So today's my so-called off day. Heh. Stayed home. Slept in. Hurhur. Became a laaazy woman for today. Gosh, i sooo need that. Well Alan was out to simpz with his friends. And i miss him like soo effing much. Sheesh. But as usual, i'll be waiting patiently for him to come back and call me. We gonna chat all night loooong, the usuals. Heheh.

Ok puh-leeeese. I'll be a bit busy these days. Got a tight schedule for stuffs. And yahh, some proper QT with Alan too. Heeee. So i'll update whenever i can squeeze in some extra juices for yall ookies. Hehe. Thank youu very nice. So anyway, here are some jazzaboos for yall. Enjoy yahh. Cheers.

((TALENTS AHOY))

* here are some pixxies of Tiramisu live @ Esplanade on 11th March.

*he's alan. aka my moonlite prince. heee. he's the bassist.

*he's keith. oh yess. keith su aka the editor im working with. heheh.

*he's urmm. ok i forgot his name. let's just call him cutey. hehe. he's cute sehh.

*he's ridzman. he's the vox. and im-in-love-with-his-out-of-the-box-talent. heh.

*omg. look at me. i look sooo bad here. heh. caught snoozing at work. bleurgh.

*sheesh. look, he's alan. and he's bored to the max. accompanying me while at work. hurhur.

Ok dear darlinnnks. Here is part one of the Monaco 69 video teaser. Even this is not finalised. Well at least yall get a view of what im doing. Heheh. Issk. Sibuuuk jer.

That's All Folks. Toodles.

2006-03-20T15:54:00.000+08:00

Total disastrous. A night out of anger, temper, hatred, tears and more tears. Never have i thought that very day would come so soon. I simply don't know what to feel now. I feel so down.

I don't wish to type out what happened. I'm already having a big time feeling of mixed emotions. By typing the incident out will definitely rub deeper into the wounds. But i simply couldn't get it out of my mind.

Seriously, i feel weird till now. Things changed. And i guess i changed. What happened created a big impact on me. I can't help but feel disgusted towards what ever happened. It was the worst. I'm farking pissed. The effect still lingers till now. Plus a terrible hangover. And all comes down to a simple question, 'why'.

Yes. Why. You don't know. I don't know. Things just happen? Ah. Whatever. A day almost passed and i still feel heavy about the whole night. Fark. I'm done. I want this to end. I have to put a stop to this. Damn it.

Alan, love you, it'll forever stay. No matter what. Remember our promises? Keep applying. I'll be okay, soon. Gimme some time to heal, completely. It's not easy. But i know it's not worthy hanging on to the past. Im partly glad the incident took place. It'd broadened every aspects about you inside me. I simple love you Prince.

2006-03-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

Aaarrggghhh. OMG. I feel sooo worried. Hurhur. It's like 6.30 in the morning and if Alan know that im actualy here blogging instead of sleeping, he'd hmm.. Kill me? Naaah. Hahaha.

I'm to work later. Yeahh. Work. Hurhur. Music and Movement ay. Heh. I've to be there by 2pm later to meet Keith. Gosh. Gosh. Scared lehh. What if i can't deliver what he wants? Or rather still, my brain just stop functioning right there. OMG. Stress liao. But i feel soo thankful to my Prince for wanting to be there with me later. To accompany me all the waaaaay. Hehehe. Love youu effing much lahh dear. Heeee.

Well, earlier, Alan and i went to look for some softwares. Haaaaiz. Leceh lahh. Still can't find the one. And whoooots! I wish for a tablet! Hahaha. How about the Inotious? Hmm. Freaking expensive sehh. Cheapest one costs almost $600. Woah. Alaah. Pelan-pelan kayuh eeh. Insya'allah kalau rezeki, dapat. Heh.

Yada yada yada, to cut the story short, we ended up at simpz. Met up with my couz E.D and looong time friend, Bob. Chilled with them. Kecoh liao. Pantang kawan-kawan si Alan tuh. Especially Acit. In justa frame of time, saaaap! Dah duduk sebelah my couz and intro diri sendiri. Hurhur. But had a great time though. I hope Alan did too. Hmm.

Ookies. Just a short entry. Gotta sleep now. Nanti besok kalau lambat, Alan consperm mengamuk. Hehehe. Insya'allah i won't be lateee. Heee.

2006-03-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

Wonder wonder. Have you ever felt sooo empty deep inside? Well, i have. In fact, a few occasions. It's nothing new to me now. Hurhur. But on the serious note, the experience was soo inapproriate and weird.

Just today. I went out to meet my Prince. It was a normal date out. On the account that i miss him effing much. Alaaah. Even when he's beside me pon i feel that i miss him so. Heheheh. But yeahh, everything was just soo fine until at one moment, poof! My good mood all went on a holiday. Sheeesh. I felt soo down. Empty. Sad. Diasappointed. Lonely. Worried. Or better still. I felt nothing.

I have nothing actually on my mind. But all of a sudden, i think about the 'nothingness'. I felt like as if i have everything, but at the same time nothing. Gosh. You don't geddit, do you? It's hard to explain. Hardly a person to experience this.

Everything is all about emptiness; nothing. I kept on dazing. Staring into nothing. I don't feel like talking, eating or even walking. All im able to do was just gazing onto nothing. It's daydreaming i suppose. But dreaming about nothing. My life suddenly flash in front of me. My family. My friends. My loved ones.

Then again, maybe due to stress im experiencing all this weird behaviour from myself. Or maybe im deprived of a proper lifestyle. Balanced diet, proper and enough sleep, exercising, etc. Or is it that im hunger for some attention? Maybe. I got less of it from my family especially. Nowadays they are all too busy with their own thingy. I spend my day times at home. Im only out when they are all asleep. Comes back, they are all still sleeping. I manage to see them every day, actualy. But it's just them. Always not at home. Leaving me all home alone.

I'm soooo weird.

Well, at least at the end of today, i felt happy. Spent the night with Mariam, Rudy, Mac and my Prince Alan. Had a blast time joking around and laughing. Solving some brain teasers too. Cool. Hurhur. Alan was sooo good at it. Im so proud. Heheheh.

I know that weird feeling will visit me again soon. Oh how i wish it to go away. As it made Alan feel so worried whenever it strikes. Sheeesh. Im sorry dear. And loving you is never getting old to me. I treasure you my Prince.

And all friends, thank youu soo much for all the care and concerns. I appreciate it alot. Without your encouragement and at times irritaion(hehe), i may not be able to pull through obstacles. Yall are never forgotten. To name each and every one, the list might go on forever. So every single one of you, besties, school friends, cyber friends, blogging friends, hi-bye friends, etc. Heeee. I don't wish to blog like im leaving this world or something. Sooo, take care ookies. ((:

P/S: To my MoonlitePrince, i love you. So much. Never in my mind have i thought of leaving you. You are too precious to me. Yeahh, no doubt at times you neglect me. You even bully me. Hahaha. You irritate me aaaaaaall the time. But deep in, i still and will always sayang you ok. To forgive at the very minute, and to forget at the next. Hehehe. I learnt that from youu. ((:

2006-03-15T05:51:00.001+08:00

It was a mistake. I cried. I felt effing heavy inside. I forced myself to vomit blood. Damn. What actually went wrong? Total confusion.

A tiff with family can mean a shattered life to me. Even if it's about some effing small thing. Yes, my family means the whole world to me. My relationship with my dear too falls in the category. These are the people that keeps me going, alive and kicking every single day.

Tell me please, im wrong. Simple ain't it. Don't simply go round beating the clueless bush. My brain doesn't work the same way as any other person. I am me. Perplex as it is. I don't expect much from people. Mutual understanding is all i ask.

Brother, i don't know why but you still think that im a competitor to you. Guys ego are such hard to tame. Hey, im your sister. Gimme a break will you. Im not born to be better than you. Don't blame me if i am because i've never thought that way. You are always a source of my inspiration.

Mummy, ever since you got yourself busy with stuff outside, we've never go against it. But im still here. Part of the family. I appreciate all the freedom and understanding you have towards me. I've never disappoint you in any way. And never have i neglect home. Im still your reliable daughter. But why when things go wrong, i was sucked in? Unrelated stuffs are all brought up. Im hurt. And i do understand the situation you are going through. Just help me to help you. I wish for that.

Daddy, you are one person i turn to for everything. And i mean everything. You showered me with soo much. Im so contented to have you and no one else. And i know you do vice versa. A trigger in the family and you will be the first to get affected. I can't do much, i know. But im always here, your filial daughter. Putting that aside, i am in a confusion state about my life, my future career and stuff. I'll sort this out on my own. As always, i promised not to let you down. Give me some time to do some soul searching and iron out the mess in my head. Nothing's impossible.

Alan, i've been such a mess. On the other side, problamatic and attitudical girl is what i am. Im fragile. A single slash might be contagious. Truthfuly. But ever since you stepped into my life, i felt stronger. You are the pillar and the shoulder to cry on. I've been such a heck to you. My peculiar behaviour seems to rage. I've always put you in such a worry and trouble situation. Im sorry for everything. We're still a newbie to each other. This is some what new to you. Nevertheless, you've always been there. Never fails to piggy me back to stability. Your presence is essential to me. Love is what i treasure from you.

Im sorry Brother.
Im sorry Mummy.
Im sorry Daddy.
Im sorry Alan.

I've made a mistake.

2006-03-13T17:41:00.000+08:00

OMG. I feel soo effing lazy today. And it's a Sundaaaay. Haha. I'm suppose to be out today but haaaiz. Plain lazy liao. And so here i am blogging at the weee hours of a Monday.

Am suppose to be at Substation today to help my brother video his performance. He tried to wake me up several times just now but the hell i just didn't manage to fight my slumber sleep. Finally, i woke up at about 4 plus. And nobody's in. Brother and his bandmates left, daddy's working and mummy's to i-don't-know-where. So called Alan up and he was riding. Hmm. Ok. Checked my celly and damn i had soo many missed calls and messages. I then did whatever necessary, switched on the tv and went back to bed. Hahahaha.

Yesterday was my Prince Alan's performance with Tiramisu at the Esplanade. I went down with Mariam and Rudy. Sheesh. But we were late and we missed the 1st set. Sorry sweety. Hurhur. Once reached, i looked for my roxstar. Chatted and chilled with him till his next and final set. Met up with his guitarist, Keith, too. Cool guy. Hee. Damn i was effing excited to see my Mr Roxstar Bassist in action at last. Hahahaha. Ridzman was super great, all the time lahh this guy. The other guitarist is sooo cuteee. Hehe. When he smiled and picked the chords, my my, such a gorgeous sight. Hurhur. But none can beat my roxstar. My only sweety. My heart still beats fast when my eyes was following him around the stage. Felt like coming up there and grab my Prince soo tight. Aargh. Tension sehh. Hahaha. But i was kinda disappointed with the drummer. Sheesh. He made lotsa obvious mistakes. Hmm.

Ok, after the show, i grabbed my roxstar. Stayed around with his crowd of friends. Felt kinda awkward though. So i kept still and quiet. Met with Azlan, the web designer i should be working close with. Eee. Awkward siak bebual with him. Haha. But i kept my cool and layan je lahh. Haha. Then later the usual us, Mariam, Rudy, Mac, Ida, Alan and myself headed down to Carls' Jr for dinner. We were joined later by Akira.

I met my bestie Razli for awhile yesterday. I was sooo effing happy sehh. It's been quite sometime since we last met. Though we both stay quite near, he's often busy with his stuff and me with mine. But almost a year after that, yesterday, we met again. Hahaha. Our friendship goes waaaay back years and years ago. But no matter what, we're still strong and of the bestest buddy ever. Miss youu Razli!! Can't wait for next weekend ay. Hahaha. Around midnight, i sent him off half way and he went back.

Ok, after that, then we all headed down to the Kim Seng bridge, sat down, drank, chilled and chatted. Mac emo sehh. Hurhur. But i sympathy him for the hell that he went through with a particular someone. Hmm. I didn't know that person is like such. Aah. I shall not be a kepoo. Anyway after story-sharing, we went to Home Club. Met up with the Kinemat friends there. We drank again and had a good time joking around. Dah boring, we went down to Zouk. Haha. The crowd that night was hmm. Something uhh. Issk. Don't know lahh how to say. So we left early. And i reached home around 5 plus in the morning. I was high. I was sick. I took my meds and i slept. Hurhur.

The day before that, Alan and i met up to do my printing. We then spent some quality time walking down to Esplanade together. Lovee my Prince soo effing much. Every time spent, always seems so short. Haaaiz. Went back to his place, took the bike and off we went down to Simpz again. Met Mel for the first time and she was soo bubbly. Haha.

My days are spent with my Alan can never be enough. I love this guy. And i really love him soo much. He's everything to me. He brought me to places where i never knew existed. He treated me good. Never felt soo royalty before. And as for now, i miss him effing much. He's out riding and i just got to know that he's off to shave his hair. OMG. Hahaha. And he's sooo worried i may not wanna date him nymore. Oh well dear, i will always looove you the same. I love you for who you are. Not what you are. But no doubt, i'm gonna kill Sham and Mac for this. Hahaha.

2006-03-09T12:26:00.000+08:00

Heh. Long time ay. Hehehe. Pardon me lahh eh. Anyway. A lil update on what i can remember for you kepooos out there. Hurhur. Ya lahh, i can't deny that reading the journals of others is sooo gerek. Interesting right. Heh. So here goes..

I did went to see Wicked Aura live at Home Club on that 4th March. Hulermakk. Gereeek. Hahaha. Alan and i first went to Zouk to support my friend Jiv who's spinning on that particular day. But since unexpected things happened, we sneaked out right after we took our entry stamp. Sheesh. Happily, we headed down to Boat Quay and to Home Club. Haha. Quite cool uh the interior. Very chill-ly. Alan chatted with few of the wickeds and yahh, im sooo effing happy to get to be soo close with them. Especially that use-to-have-afro-hairdo guy. Fulermak. Cute lahh dia. Heheh. Can't say much here. Hohoho. Snapped a few pix of them. And i definitely enjoyed the showcase. Thankyouu to my moonlight prince Alan for bringing me there that night. Hehee.

Alan and i then spent some quality time together by the breezy sea. It was a superly wonderful night. We watched people fished and chilled. It was cool. And we only reached home at almost 8am. Sheesh. Heheh. But i really did have a good time with my dear although we did nothing but slacked. Every moment spent with him is always happy moments for me. Nothing can ever beat the feeling of being sooo in love. The world is like heaven and life's like total rainbows and bird flies. Aaaah. Perfect. Just perfect.. I love you Alan. Heeeee.

Haha. Ok. The following sunday, Alan and i went to meet my gurl, Kit. She brought along her ex, Ash's the name, i think uh. Hurhur. No comments uh about this guy. Hahahaha. He's ok lahh. Hmm.. Haha. It's just between Alan and i. Heheh. Ok ok. We met to discuss about our next new vid project. We decided to do a docu on our shortfilm, Wayang. Then go jalan-jalan abit and Alan and i headed down to Simpang Bedok to meet his friends. Heheheh. Cooooool. Had a bursting time laughing. His friends are not only cute dudes but friendly and funny too. Sheesh. But my Alan's still the best. Hehe. Of course uhh. My boyfriend wadd. Hurhur.

I guess the next day, Alan and i went to The Life Theatre Awards by The Straits Times. Alan did the video editting for the awards. The experience was fantastic. The dress code was suppose to be Spaghetti Western. You know, Red Indians, Brokeback Mountains, Cowboys.. But instead, Alan and i wore casually formal. Heheh. The celebrities were sooo dressed up with cowboys' hat lahh, brokeback capes lahh and whatever lahh. Effing cool uh. An average party but nicely done. An experience i can never forget is the wine-tasting. Damn. I never knew wine could taste sooo blueek. Eeee. I took a sip, my face turned sooo cramp. Haha. I took a sniff, worst uh. Hahaha. But the hell i feel sooo like a superstar holding on to the wine glass. Hurhur. Great event. Wish to go again if there's opprtunity. Heheh. Ok Alan? Next time got more invitation, go tau. Hurhur. Later after the function, we both went down to Simpz again..

Ok lahh. That's all lahh. I'm gonna get ready lahh now. Nak meet Alan. Got time later i update again ookies. Ermm. Thought of getting myself some new tops. Hmm. Hahaha. See yaaaa.

((WICKED LOVEE))

*the logo. effing cooool. hurhur.

*alan's gay partner. hahaha. oops.

*my favourite of them all. sweeeeet dude. heh.

*wickeds in action.

*in action pt II.

*this guy may be small but he's the most hype of them all. haha.

Ok lahh. Actually got moreee pixxies. But im too lazy to upload and host. Hurhur. Too bad yall. Take care. Till then. Bye.

2006-03-04T15:41:00.000+08:00

I'm staying home for tonight. Oh yess i will. I'm tired. I want to have a goood rest at home. Sleep early and stuff. Ok go. Hmm. Aaaaaaarrrggghhh. Damn. Temptation to meet my Alan is sooo effing high. But nooo. I'm going to stay strong. Oh yess i will. Haha. Eeeeyer. I'm sooo kental lahh being all mushy and stuff. Eeeek. Hahaha.

Alan's out for the night. Jamming with the band. Oh yess, Tiramisu's performing at the Esplanade Outdoor Theatre this 11th March. Don't miss this wacky and unique band. Hehehe. Wonder what they'll wear this time round eeh. Hurhur. Soo im gonna type a looong entry today ay. Story telling time lahh. Whatever i remember and wish to publish it here, i just type. Heh. Later dah penat, i'll stop. Duuuh.

Yesterday i went out on a date wif my Daddy. Heehee. Dad got me my Adidas greeeeny watch. Though i'm used to wearing the red one that i've given back, i chose to get the green one instead. It's Daddy's choice, the cute salesperson's choice and definitely my Alan's choice too. Hurhur. Isk. Dad and i went to do a lil shopping together that day. For which we seperated when his other date, Mummy, came and joined us after her work. Hahahaha. They both sent me to Alan's workplace and we seperated from there.

Alan's project is finally over. Yeayness. Hehe. We met up at his office building and we spent some time window shopping after that. I was sooo effing happy to meet him. Double the happiness when he told me about a job offer. Woohoo. Haha. Thankyouuu soo much huney. Ok moving on, i got myself my julius. Missed having it liao. Haha. After which, we headed down to Far East to meet Rudy. Mac was there too. Hurhur. We ate and chatted for awhile then headed down to Party KTV and meet up with Rudy's beau, Mariam. That was the 2nd time we went karaoke together. It was sooo fun. Mac can really sing liao. Heheh. This time Rudy's singing got better. Mariam and i, as usual, steady bo-pee-pee. Heh. Buuutt, my Alan this time, hancur siak. Hahaha. Though some songs he sang quite ok uh. Haha. Pendek and his sweeeet gurl Vel joined us later after that. Cute cute lahh they all.

I first met Alan's BUnit friends at Seletar. Together with this two other ladies, teachers taauu. Heheh. And yahh, this other dude. Sorry uh, i can't remember their names. Met them for like once and it lasted for like half an hour. Sheesh. So hope to meet the others again pretty sooon yeahh. Heh. As for Pendek and Vel, i met them during the celebration of Vel's birthday. Went down to MOS but Alan and i didn't enter the club. Macam boring like that. So the same five of us headed down to the KTV for some effing good time. Joined later was Vel and drunkard Pendek. Issk. Hehehe.

Alan and i was too burnt out to club that day actualy. He was busy at work the whole day and i was at school editting and stuff. But since it was Vel's birthday, we came irregardless. Soo, Happy Birthday again ookies Vel! Hee. But that night, we managed to catch some bands at the Gas Haus. Cooool sia. Loove it. Watched Force Vomit performed. Damn cutee lahh the guitarist. Heh. So is the drummer. Weeets. Hehe. Met up with Tiramisu's vox, Ridzman. Fuuh. That effing cool guy. Admire his creativity and uniqueness. Salutation man. Damn.

Ok, back to yesterday. Hahahaha. After the karaoke, i followed my Alan back. Pendek and Vel gave us a lift liao. Hehe. Thanx guys. So we the couple lepak awhile under the block and we watched cartoons and listen to songs on my ipodee. Hehe. Then he took his bike and we rode off to Changi for supper. I was down with a baaad stomach cramp sia. But dear helped to ease me by feeding me and cracking jokes and made me laugh. Hehe. I got better at last. Thankyouuu huney. Hehe.

Aroung 6 am, he sent me home. And we promised not to meet today. Heh. That explains the opening of this journal entry. Hahaha. But maybeee, we're going to see Wicked Aura perform at Home Club then to Zouk to support my dear friend Jiv who's dj-ing tomorrow. See lahh how if we both can make it. Aiyahh. Futhermore, Eena called yesterday and asked out to club tomorrow. Hmm. Like what Alan and i discussed, maybeee i'll just ask Eena and the other gurls to come down to Zouk and we'll meet there. Buuuutt, we both is still wishing upon the brightest star to go home early if we go out tomorrow. Hurhurhur. Because we selalu balik pagi you know. Subuh then reach home. Isssk. Canot lahh like this all the time. I'll deprive of sleep and go all crazy. Look more like a panda and will slack lazily. Sooo, noooooo. This have to end soon right huney. Heheh.

Ok lahh, i wanna watch my MTV now. Yet another session of my tv whoring . Dah lama tak do that seh. Soooo, good night yeahh. Byee.

Miss youu effing much sweetheart. Had a blast time with you every time. I love you Mr Alan. ((:

2006-03-02T17:32:00.000+08:00

Eeeek. You people uhh. Thanx for the mails eeh. Haha. Please lahh, if you people happen to see me out there in the real world, say hellooo lahh. I don't bite. Don't worry. And so is my Alan or friends. Issk. No point right, mailing and telling me that you peeps saw me wherever lahh, with whoever lahh, doing whatever lahh. Hehehe.

Anyways, yeahh, i've been out alot these days. Especially with Alan. There's actually stories and gossips to share lahh but.. Hmm.. Ntahh eehh. Hahaha. And for those who keep asking me who and how i got to know my Alan, okay, i'll share a bit. But a bit only uhh. I possibly can't post every second of my life here. Some are due to personal and privacy issues. Soo, please understand ookies. Hehehehe. Mana nyer superstar jer eeh. Padahal, padahal. Bluek.

Some did ask, what happened to Rifky. Well, the conclusion to that is, he and i are just not meant to be. Not because i made new freinds nor fell for someone else. Nope nope. It's waaaay far from that. The situation is soo hard to tell. My fault? His fault? I don't know. But God knows. He paired us, he tested us, he seperated us. Let's just say, fate's not on our side. But i did hang on. Tried my bloody best. But he never change. I didn't lose my balance. But he did. And so, we ended. A week later, was the final showdown. Totaly official. End of story.

Moving on, i was both glad and sad. Mix emotions. I was caught up. I fell sick. I was down. I felt a lil crazy inside. But it lasted only for awhile. Encouragement and support from the dearest around me helped alot. I'm happy. But never felt happier when Alan stepped into my life. It's like a total new feeling. He made me smilee. He made me feel soo good. And in the end, he made me fall in love all over again. I simply love my man, Alan. Hehehehe.

For those who did take a peek at both our profile in friendster, may know a thing or two about Alan. Things like his age, his residential, interests, hobbies and etc. Hahaha. Kepoo people. And those who don't know, i shall not reveal it here. Heheheheh. Bleauurggh. So yeahh, i got to know my man from friendster. Chatted aloot before everything. Aloooot i tell you. Hurhur. It might seem soo lame and stupendious. Heh. But yeahh, that's how Alan and i got together. Khekhekhe.

Soon, we met. This funny-goofy-sweet-crazy-anything type of guy made me laugh and blush the whole night. Hehe. Had a fantabulous time, all the time. And the whole week after that day, we went out. Mostly at night though. We got sooo effing close. Love love love love love. Heeeheeee.

It's always hard for us to part to go home. Same goes when we chat online or on the phone. Issk. Susah liao like this. Hahaha. Then when he have to work and stuff, we missed each other a hell lot. When i've to be somewhere and he need to be elsewhere, we just don't meet. Sheeesh. Simply, i love him the way he is. Don't wish anything to change. We both share sooo much in common and i just love it.

Simply, i don't give a shit to those who hate or disagree about Alan and i. It won't affect the both of us in any way. We're cool about everything. Thanx to those who's happy for us. Heehee. Whatever the world is in for us, we're up for it. Heh. Talk big eeh. Hurhur. No lahh. Alaaah. I don't know how else to end this. Tsk. Byee je lahh. Boo.

2006-03-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

Hey people. Hulermaak. No time to update gossips and confessing drama lahh now. Hehe. Either i'm tooo lazy or i've no peas in my brain right now to share. Hmmm. Why not you wonderful people guess which one is it. Hahahaha. Ok, as for now, i would like to share this superb song playing right now. I first heard the song a week ago and eversince, i'm hooked. Everyday, anytime, anywhere. I'll tune to the song even before going to sleep. Sheesh. Hahaha. Thanx to my huney Alan lahh. He introduced me to it. Soon, he's gonna teach me how to strum the guitar to the song. Haha. He tengah tangkap the chords now. And he turned weird eversince. Hehehe. Yeayy! Soo, enjoy people. I even post the lyrics for anyone out there who wish to sing along to the song~... Toodles!

*Lyrics To Shalyn & Alan's Concurrently Favourite Song*

There's a nail in the door
And there's glass on the lawn
Tacks on the floor
And the TV is on
And I always sleep with my guns when you're gone

There's a blade by the bed
And a phone in my hand
A dog on the floor
And some cash on the nightstand
When I'm all alone the dreaming stops
And I just can't stand

What should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out
And maybe and then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home

Now goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

There's a shark in the pool
And a witch in the tree
A crazy old neighbor and he's been watching me
And there's footsteps loud and strong coming down the hall
Something's under the bed
Now it's out in the hedge
There's a big black crow sitting on my window ledge
And I hear something scratching through the wall

Oh what should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out
And maybe I just hate to be all alone
Outside the door he followed me home

Now goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say goodnight moon

Well you're up so high
How can you save me
When the dark comes here
Tonight to take me up
The mouth from woke
And into bed where it kisses my face
And eats my hand

What should I do I'm just a little baby
What if the lights go out and maybe
And then the wind just starts to moan
Outside the door he followed me home

Now goodnight moon
I want the sun
If it's not here soon
I might be done
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon
No it won't be too soon 'til I say
Goodnight moon

______________________________

P/S: Missing you effing much sweeety. Be good and finish up your work asap ookies. See you soooon my moonlightPRINCE. ;))

2006-03-01T09:09:00.000+08:00

Is the world spinning too fast? Or is it just US? Hehe. Ok ok. Updating the updates just for yall. Im getting more and more lazier to blogg lahh. Simply too busy with stuffs to do. Cheeh. Hurhur.

OMG. It's been sooo effing long since my taggie been infested with 'hate-tagger'. Hmm. Then again, thanx to all my sweet sweet friends for 'layankan' si 'NICK' tu. Crazy lahh that human. No rhythm nor rhyme. No bait nor rod. Hahah. But i got the strong feeling that 'that' human is soo effing bored with the life and got no brain. Duh. What else can it be right. Hmm. Ok lahh, don't care a shit about 'NICK' anymore. Ignore the taggs. Once 'NICK' is tired and found a new hobby, it will definitely stop. Hahaha. THANX AGAIN YALL! Muax muax.

Ok, for once, nothing but the truth that i'm going to say here. I feel sooo free and happy since the break up of my last relationship. Just like a butterfly out of the cacoon. Waoh. Heh. The past months, i tolerated lies and deceit. All the communication breakdown. I guess at the end of the story, the opposite happened. Karma i believed. Call me bad or cruel, i don't plan all this fate. It just happened. I didn't even intend to give up, but mishaps took place. Well, it's worth the struggle anyway. I learnt alooooot. Heheheh. Hate me for all you want, for all i care. I just wanna thank you for being part of my life, once. The love you showered me, came together with negative intrigues. I won't ask why. Ok ok, i know you care soo much about your water face and dignity. Fineeee. I dumped you. For another guy. I lied. I cheated. Heh. Whatever lahh. Just go on and take care.

Ok people, listen up. I, SHALYN, am in total mess. Issk. I'm just crazy. Hmmm. I've not been going to school regularly for no particular reason or whatsoever. Though i've kept my room tidy, my drawers are in a mess. Hehe. Been hanging out more with ITE friends than my besties. Isssk. They lahh always busy. But nevermind, at least we still keep in contact. I miss Stu smally, Cal, Jiv and moree. But the only person that i've been missing most in the one whom i've been seeing, Alan. Gosh.

Alan and i was just friends initialy and didn't intend to take the step further and all that jazz. But ever since there's this two person in our life who keeps doing internal investigation on us, it only made us bond stonger. Alan and i are now a couple, as in together, in love. It all happened soo fast. Alan and i clicked soo well since we 1st chat. Hehe. Sweet i tell you.. We did things we never did before. His interests and likings are either similar or same as mine. I guess that's the reason why we communicate soo well with one another. As days past by us, we became closer than ever. Our love grows as well. He met my girl, Kit. And he brought me to meet his friends. And we've been going out ever since. This may sound weird and funny to others, but Alan and i are serious with each other. Hmm. I shall not elaborate more and make it sound soo mushy and all. Hehehehe. I'm just proud to be with him, my rockstar. And Alan, in case you're still unsure, i am definitely and 100% happy to be with you. You're my everything now.

Ok, school's done for the day. I'm getting my period. That sucks. And i miss Mr Alaaaaaan. Hehe. Happy working ay. May you complete the project soooon. Can't wait to meet up again! Take care yall. Love love my blogger peeps soo much! Muax!

2006-02-22T07:34:00.000+08:00

I seem to think about Green Turtle alot. A very sweet and funny stuff indeed. Never fails to make me smileee. The stars we saw. The movies we watched. The jokes we laughed at. The seemingly aligned kisses. Damn. What an epic in life that resemblence mine! Haha. Make the episodes longer. Or better still, neverending. It's like the essential sunlight and water that plants need. And the turtle is all i want.

Never have i imagined how thin the line is between love and crush. Infatuation. It's soo thin that one almost didn't feel it. The passion. The love. Feels like it comes and go. Simply. Snap! And it's gone. Wth.

Ben, maybe you are right. Though you are so annoying. At the end of the day, i always reflect back to the sentences you told me. And thanks to you, i plucked up my courage and tried. And here i am. Caught. Bad bad situation. Now how? Hah.

Go with the flow. Let nature takes its course. Yeahh yeahh. Maybe that's the better way. Time will tell. Whatever happenes, happens for a reason. God have better plans for all of us. Hehe. So there. I'm done here.

I missed the daily dosage today. Blurry, you gonna get it from me. Miss Secretary me, gonna squish you to the state of the julius. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Hibernation at this hour. Poor thing. As busy as bees. Need help? I'll be more than glad. Hurhur. ANYTHING.

Just as what Inspector Clouseau will always say: "It seems like a nice weather.."

LOL.

2006-02-18T15:53:00.000+08:00

Hey. Waddup. Hmm. Well, got some stuff that i need to say here. But before that, lemme start with a big SORRY for the disappearence again. Issk. Sorry eeh. Please please don't bombard me with the 'update' messages and stuff already. Gimme a break. Ookies? Heh.

Hmm, where did i stop. Oh yahh, the ex is being such a gay. Nothing to elaborate on that. The Soup of The Day is performing again sometime soon. I wish not to miss it again. Deedee! Don't forget ookies. I miss your sisters, Renny and Lenny. Sorry for the absence on their first gig.

Hmm.. I received a call from Clique. Invited me to his dashing birthday celebration. As i set to go, i received a shocking news. Someone passed. Gosh i can still feel the emotions that runs high in me. I was soo taken aback. Surprised and speechless. Sometimes fate seems soo cruel. But im sure God have set better plans. Rest in peace my dear friend..

Back to the story, Clique, if you happen to read this, i would like to extend my apology. I tried calling you earlier that day to inform but couldn't get through. Happy birthday still and best wishes to you dear friend.. Im still holding on to your gift here. Though it's not that much. Hope to pass it to you soon. Am sorry again.

Valentine's was a crappy day. Yeahh. I wasn't in the mood. Futhermore, no plans nor date. Isk. But RiFKY and i did went out but not on the 14th. We went out just to celebrate good times. It was a blast. He made me smile from ear to ear. We had an effing good time. Thanx iky. Thankyouu soo much. I feel so much happier since that day.

Days after that was simply hectic. Trying to make it for the dateline for my portfolio. Lotsa designing, editting and printing. Time wasted everyday doing the same shits. It's farking tiring. Issk. But it beats sitting at home rotting away. So today was the 1st presentation. I sucked. Issk. Though the lecturers loved most of the workpieces, i still feel it's not the best. Nevermind, i've like a week more to go to brush it up.

ApiSs is such a cutie. Every single time, he never fail to make me smile with his sms-es that he sent to me or either that, the msn chat is always fantabulous. Hurhur. He's one sweet dude. Hey, sorry for going offline just like that the other day. In the national library.. Remember? Haha. As usual, MSN was such a whore. Hehe. Takmu boring boring lahh k. Next time boring, msg me. Hurhur.

And Blurry, you are soo effing cute. Really. The chat was superb. Hurhur. Im hooked. Im addicted. I need you as my daily dosage of smiliees. Your interests are mainly my interests too. Heheh. Coincidence? Hmm. Love ya sweets.

I'll be back with more detailed entries. But i'll end here for now. Blurry's out. So no company. Boo-hoo.

2006-02-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

[9th February 2006] It's Daddy's birthday!! Yeayness! Haha. Daddy shares the same birth date with Ibu. Sooo, Happy Birthday Ibu and Daddy!! Muaxx! Muaxx! Love yall..

Sissy messaged to join them for Ibu's birthday celebration but i passed. Kinda too malas. Am meeting Ibu this weekend nyways. Decided to stay home and celebrate with Daddy instead. Hehe. Mummy brought home t.w.o cakes for him. Both from Angie the Choice. A Black Forest and a Cookies and Cream. Yummay~.. Daddy made a delicious dessert for us too. It's my favourite Avocado. Heheh. Nicenice. Slurrp it all down.

So i skipped school today. Initially the reason is because of my left eye. It's swollen. Boo-hoo. It got worst since few weeks back. Am gonna need to make appointment with the eye specialist soon. Issk. All due to contact lenses. Mummy told me that my aunt suffered the same swolly reddy eyes also due to the same reason. Soooo, kiddies, be extra careful when it comes to wearing lenses. In time to come, you gonna have to face the consequences. Issk. No no. don't wish that to happen ay.

I rested at home. Bathed only when Mummy reached home after work. Heh. I spent the whole day watching tv and sleep. Sheesh. Watched MTV and damn i miss VJ Utt. Haha. He's back! Woohoo! I tuned in to Peter Pan the movie. Gosh it's soo great. Tinky was sooo cute though at times she was quite mean. Heh. But when she died, i cried. Sob sob. She's damn cutee. Love it. Heh.

Got a call from Max. Oh yess, Max. He asked out tonight. Told me he's bloody bored at home. Futhermore there's no one as the family left for a getaway. Poor him. His NS pay will be credited to his account at 11.30 later and he wish to have some fun. Hehe! Poor guy. Four more months to ORD! Heheh! But dude, am sooo sorry. It's raining here and i don't feel like having fun today. So yeahh, im sorry i've to pass.

RiFKY went for a course at Yio Chu Kang firestation today. Abang Sairi was also on duty at the same place. Heh. Apadahh ni dua orang. Kenal pastu tak tegur. Isssk. Cute lahh this two dudes. Love them to bits. Love my Abang. Love my Hubby. Love everybody. Love my self. Heh.

To the 'bestfriend'. I simply hate you now. You only think about yourself. Hey bitch, i did favours for you. Simply why did you have to go around telling people of the illegal business i do. That moron called. Asked me a favour to do that farking thing for him. But too bad, i rejected. Why did he needs it? I know why. Because you forced him to accompany you because you wish not to go home early right. Yeahh. You selfish bitch. Sorry that i texted you such words. I had enough. Another word from you or others asking me to help out in such matter, i'll blow my top and screw your p*ssy upside down. Geddit?

((PIXXIES TIME))

*daddy's birthday certificate. heh. i donno wad-the-hell-is-dat.

*angie the choice cakes. yummay...

*the one which is called black forest.

*the one which is called cookies and cream. yum yum..

*my pathetic birthday gift for daddy. his favourite ice cream. heh.

*the bogey daddy. kuakuakua.

*the tired mummy. ho ho ho.

LATER!!

2006-02-09T07:04:00.000+08:00

"So exciting, the audience will stomp and cheer!"

"So delighting, it will dun for 50 years!"

Well, well, well.. It's been quite some time ay. Anyway, i'm like watching Moulin Rouge now. Love the muvee. Simply love it. And that explain the quotes above. Haha. Sing to it everybody! Kuakuakua.

Dear RiFKY,
I'm wishing now to be not like the courtesan. I make men not believe what i says. Love is not a game. I can't survive without your sweet Love. Love lifts us up where we belong. Love makes us act like we are fools. But, we should be Lovers. That's a fact. We could be heroes. Forever and ever. Just because, i will always Love you. Can't help loving you. How wonderful life is, now you're in the world. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to Love.. And be loved in return.

Love,
Shalyn.

This very moment, i've never feared. Like i've known. I'm proud to say, i've a shoulder to cry on, a stable and permanent one. Someone whom i don't mind risking my life with. He's the one. The only one.. Until my dying days.

I'm happy with life now. Thanx to who-ever who came to my life. Be it for good reasons or bad. Thanx to yall, i am what i am now. I may not be perfect, but i'm at all, contented. I have my family, my friends, my loved ones. Though, i understand things may change in the near future, i'll forever cherish the moments i'm living in now.. Come what may.

For the past week, my life was in a total mess. Lotsa stuffs came crashing. All at one farking time. I felt down. I felt terrible. I was lost. Terrible feeling i tell you. But i've learnt. Learnt to take a breath. Alhamdulilah, everything's going on ok now. With much patience and a penny thought from people, i annalysed. Hehe. Thank you Allah.

Ok, i shall end here. I'm in class uh now. Going for my next lesson. Urgh. Lotsa assignments to be completed. But since i took my break now, i'll be back to my assignments in a while. Will be back blogging soon. When i've the time uh.

Ermm, how about posting pasts pixxies? Heheh. Maybe. How far past will i track back? I don't know. Just wait up ok. Soon after i gathered them all, i'll post it ookies. Heh.

Anyway, betol ke?? Club Momo is now 21 for the ladies? Heard also that it only applies to the Malay ladies?? Huh?? Issk. Don't know uh. Yet to find out. Oh yeahh, 21st, Velvet Underground here i come!! Haha. Jiv's reborn! Way to go dude! And ermm, this friday, MOS? Haha. Boi's frenzy's birthday lahh. Ally, amaciammm? Kuakuakua. Ay Boi, get better first lahh ok. Yahh people, he met with an accident few weeks back. Issk. Safety rider heh. Bleaurgh.

2006-02-08T03:58:00.000+08:00

Rifky and i went out. We've been meeting quite often these past few weeks. Sheesh. Love i guess. Hehe. We went to Esplanade. Witnessed the beautiful fyrewerks from the rooftop. Beautiful i tell you.. Watching a beautiful scene while in the arms of the loved one.. Simply fantabulous.

The next day, we met up again. Heheh. This time, we went to Queenstown for some window shopping. Sweet i tell youu. Hehe. He's soo good at picking out the beautiful guy's clothings. And he either nod his head or shake it when it comes to me browsing the ladies stuffs. Issk. We had fun browsing though. Joking around and stuff.. Hehehe!

We headed down to the IKEA after that. Down there, laaagi cute. We went around as if we were shopping for our own humble crib. Arguing on stuff.. Issk. Seems like it's simply hard for us to compromise when it comes to such issue ay. Susah i tell youu.. Everything i like, he don't like. And the stuffs that he felt appropriate for the home, to me it's soo crapp. Issk issk. Only about 10% of the designs that we look at, we both loved them. Damn. Wonder wonder.. Future wise, how the hell are we to decor our own home eeh? Haha.

Ok, hubby's looong break coming to an end. His work starts tommorow. We both met up almost everyday since his leave. Hurhur. No where to go but still, we met up. Issk. So it's back to work and responsibility ay.. Hehe. Shall end here. Tired lahh. Nak sleep.

*the fyrewerks iky and i saw.

*colourful and extravagant ones.

*my lovable cutey kitten. momo's the name. he's just a month old.

*since i reached home, i ate the whole tub of ice. heh. sorry huney.

2006-02-03T13:38:00.000+08:00

LOVE hurts. Definitely. Why eeh. Why. The moment i've set to give my whole heart to him, shiznats have to occur. Patience is important. I learnt. So baby, though you shut me off for like two days now, i'm still here, waiting. Do come back and talk to me when you've simmered. Or whatever. You are too damn precious for me to let go. Love is the reason why i'm doing this.

Anyway, at school today, Mr Tim counselled me about attendance and stuff. Shitloads of counsell. I'm in awe. He put high hopes for me. He just want me to graduate and don't come back to repeat. Isk. I wish not to too. Who wanna? I've disappoint him. Downgrading myself when im nearing the Finish Line? For the past terms, i've managed to pass the exams. He didn't want me to fail due to my bad attendance for this last term. Just two more freakin months lahh shalyn. Don't waste it. I was simply touched by all his concerns and advices. I know my weaknesses. I'm weak at lotsa stuff. But i should simply put a stop. I pray and seek from you dear Allah, bless me. Help me go through this.

The friends been so effing good to me. Offering me a ride home and stuff. Be there when i'm in need. I'm thankful. And i'm sorry too if i've turned yall down too many times. I'm with responsibilities. Responsibilities that comes as a daughter, sister, student, girlfriend and also as my self. The fun times we had was unforgettable. I extend my thankyouu to Ally, Baby, Azam, Din and the whole lot of them. They've never fail to fill my down times with jokes and laughter. Thankyouu yall..

I guess a just a short entry for today. No mood uh. Ermm, sorry yahh Ally and friends. I have to turn down the offer of the dinner outing just now. Haaiz.. Kinda tired and yahh, once again, NO MOOD.

2006-02-02T07:48:00.000+08:00

CHIBAI. Friendster sucks. Farking laggy. And today, SUCKS too. Today's entry may contain too much vulgarity. So if you think it's too much or whatever, kindly click the [x] button at the top right hand corner of the screen. Thankyoouuu. Pardon ME, this is my blogg.

Not everyday is like rainbows and bird flies you know. Each day has its story. And today, i'm full of angst. Full of whatever-shits. I'm pretty sure it's due to my mensus. Yesterday was its first drop. It came together with a huge cramp. I can't eat. I can't lie down. I can't sit. I can do nothing right. Soo farked up. The whole day yesterday was a complete shit. And somebody just don't understand the meaning of SICK. What the fark.

He went out. Fishing with his friend. Little did i know that a woman is following. Then i don't know why, i feel farked up. How can i not. He hung up the phone on me for like don't-know-what reason. The whole night, he pissed me off. He off-ed the bloody hp and i don't-know-the-hell-what-he-did-last-summer. Fark lahh. Don't think that i've no trust in him. I do. He never did anything to absolut hurt me nor put our relationship on the line. But baby, i'm just bloody pissed with the way you phrase your words and said it out loud to me. I'm sooo not in the mood to joke around. You knew. I was damn helpless. But yet, you triggered me. Ok. Whatever. Rotten day. But the hell, i still LOVE you. That love for you will never change. I still need your effing love baby. Period.

Ok next. I couldn't sleep yesterday. My slumber night was kept awake by the farking painful cramps. Felt like there's a big stone down in my vagina. Chibai. It's not easy being a woman. Fate set that my period cramps will be a hell of a time to go through. So at about 3am, i edgingly woke mummy up to help me. I was sweating like hell. As though i was high on drug. Mum was shocked. I was as pale as ghost. And let me tell you, no amount of panadols can help. This is like the worst. Daddy carried me down to the 24hrs clinic. Yada yada yada. I was poked with a big and long needle down at my tummy area. I was told too, my blood pressure was effing low. My cramps were due to fibroids. I don't know lahh what the hell was that. Don't ask. I was lucky though. The doc was a female. She told me not to worry. The jab she gave was a strong one to help ease the pain. She prescribed me a few pills to help me with my blood flow. I went home. Slept soundly till about 5 plus in the morning, then farking pain again. Isk. Ate the meds and i slept till like 10 plus just now. Felt soo much better and decided to get ready for school.

I was given an mc but i wish to go to school. I need to get updated with Miss Shikin about the farking vid cam. Need to know the amount that i've to pay. But the hell, it's not finalised yet. But was told to get ready about 2 to 3 farking hundreds. Ok go. And the day in school was like fark. The 'wannabe' woman gave a farking attitude. To hell lahh with youu bitch. Don't come and tell me problems. It's your farking duty to solve it. Do i look like i'm so farking free with nothing to do? You are in-charge of the casts. You picked them out effortlessly without thinking. And now, you better solve the farking problem. No more of passing every single shits to me. It's over bitch. Face it.

Nevertheless, i kept my cool. I didn't over react. I won't show for sure. Though in this entry i sound like an angry biatch, i'm not the person who scream and shout to attract unwanted attention. But of course, i talk to just anyone nicely. But since this is MY blogg, i'll rant as i want. Just to let it out. I don't wanna keep my anger. No good for myself. But rest assure, reality, i'm farking nice. Heheh. See, after typing all that shit, i'm cool. I feel better now. And i know, by looking down on others, it doesn't make me any better. Soooo, those are random words and thoughts when i'm angry. Piping hot babe. Heh. But to think of it, without all this shits, life is boring. It's how i handle them in reality. Balancing out every emotions are important. Think straight. On the other side, if wanna rant out soo much, do it somewhere. For me, i blogg. Hahahaha. Scram.

Anyway, thanx to my bitch Ally. The only bitch that was there for me. I didn't bitch around about my probs lahh. She was just there to lepakz with me in school. To eat and head home together. I just can't wait to reach home ang grab my babyTIGGER. Need lotsa rest liao.

2006-02-01T05:54:00.000+08:00

OMG. School starts tommorow. Holiday's over. So buck up lady! Sheesh. Exactly two more months to graduate. So better get everything all done and over it. Then get the hell outta that school! Heh.

Anyhoos, yesterday's date with iKY was soo tak puas. Hurhur. He came to pick me up at the void at around 1pm. Lepakzz for awhile thinking where to have our lunch. Deciding on the venue this time round was very much difficult due to the stupiak CNY holiday. Everywhere's like a ghost-town. Shops all closed except for the mamak shops, 7-11s, fastfoods and dine-in restaurants, or whatever else lahh. But we decided to head down to Tampines still. There were like lots of people, surprisingly, mostly the chinese??? Whatever lahh. Soo many people but soo many or should i say almost all the shops were closed. Heh. But the usual uh, the muvee ticket queue was like super looong. Hell. Ok, so iKY and i settled on LJS. Ate then get our butt out of Tampines. Followed him back home, he changed to his MRpoliceman uniform and i sent him off to work. Haha! Lame. But he's happy. Happy that i did sent him to work. Issk. Macam small boy lahh you monster. Heheh! Had a fantabulous time though. It has always been soo much fun going out with him. And so, i smiled.

I went straight home after that. But Ally called and asked out. Sooo, i did. Sheesh. I gave her an orange. Just one. Haha! CNY liao. But why 1? Because i ate the other 1. Heh. Share the good luck and happiness lahh.. Haha!

Ok lahh, am tireddd. Reached home quite late yesterday. And i'm losing my dear voice. Issk. But still, maybe i'll be meeting iKY up again later in the evening. He asked to tagg along with him and Zaki to Changi, to pancing fish. Haaiz. Malas to the tiny bones seh. Ermm. I think i'll pass. Heh. Bleaurrgh.

((some random pixxies to share))

*too much veggie in my bowl, i yakk.. haha!

*and so, i ate the fishies. but muka still retarded coz iky forced my to ate some veggies before that. heh.

*he's happy, i ate veggie. bleaurgh. and he loves me. heh.

*my pinkie celly can do wonders. love the pix and i have to share it with yall. ;))

2006-01-30T18:46:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year. Let's welcome the year of the doggies. Heheh. Ok, fark all that. Thank youu to-whoever-this-may-concern, for the looong weekend holiday! Weee~.. Like finally. Haha! So today, i lazed around at home. Did nothing but watched the stupiak teevee and play games as well as wasting the electric bill by let-ing my lap-pee played all the songs that i have in my ipodee. Heh. Ok. It's time for a lame and ingenious entry. Currently, that's what i feel. So, sorry for this entry..

I wasn't the only one who lazed today. So did my parents! Haha! They both did nothing but watched teevee like the whole day. But mummy did her chores during the day time lahh and as for the rest of the 3/4 day, she lazed with daddy. Kuakuakua! Only my brother went out. Don't know to where he's out to also. Sheesh.

Anyway, the school letter reached my mail. Issk. 1st warning letter. I'm still the same old me. Never change, have i? Heh. Two whole years of farkin shits. Wonder wonder. Anyway, this saturday, there's an interview conducted by Singapore Poly. Hmm.. Should i? But i want TP liao.. Hmmm..

I'm suppose to pick iKY up from work at around 9pm just now. But im just tooo laaaazy. Sorry honey. Heh. He knows me best. When i'm lazy, i'm plain lazy. But the hell, i missed him. Miss this monster truckloads. Issk. Well, garfield, i've promised. As planned we'll met up and lunch together before you head off to work tomorrow ookies.

And this is for the few random women out there. Thanx for your wishes and compliments towards me or my relationship with iKY. To some who think i might hurt him, well, naturally that's what people call fate. We've no control of the future. Geddit? I ain't sure of it. But i love him soo much now to hurt him. Those who think that he ain't ready or what-ever, well, thanx for the concern. I'm assured, he is ready to be in this relationship with me. Expect the unexpected lahh. Yall know nuts about the story of the two of us what. Anyway, iKY and i were friends before we took it to the next level. With careful thoughts, we made the decisions. And as for the others with 'whatever thoughts' in your head, i thank you for taking notice of the what-ever. Evrything is appreciated. :)) So yeahh, now give us some space to breathe ya? Thank you for your cooperation. Yor understanding is much appreciated. :))) Oh yess, to whoever who wishes to reach him in MSN or friendster or whatever, just to inform, his comp is down. His mobile phone also at times half dead. Heh. So yall can go through me if want to. I don't mind being the Secretary. Sheesh. Haha!

Ok. Gotta sleep now. Kalau lambat besok, abang tu nanti marah. Muka nanti macam Stretch from the criter Casper. You know.. The uncle. The one with the long and grumpy face. Hehehexx! But i still love him. Period.

Toodles.

*my friendster & my blogg. left it like that for like hours from dawn till dusk. heh.

2006-01-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

Lotsa things happened for the past week. Too many things.. Had my ups and downs. Issk. Norms lahh, all this are parts and parcels of life. Anyway, 'WAYANG' was pre-shoot. Had lotsa glitches, problems and what-so-ever. Afterall, i would like to say a big thank you to my crews! You guys are great!! And to whoever, filming is super not easy. Including looking for casts. Because of your selfishness and big-talk because of your friends, in the end, it causes super big problems for the production. I hope you understand what i mean. Dumb-ass.

And yeahh, the vid cam's LCD is broken to pieces. Damn. Now i have to fork out hundreds of dollars to pay for the damages. Fark.

Hmm.. Ok, what else had happened ay? Oh yahh! One particular night in MSN, Dayne got angry at me. WHY? Just because i've moved on. Just because i've someone new. WTH. He's just jealous and can't accept that fact. It's true uh what Deedee said. Issk. Yeahh yeahh. But he did say too that i'm just similar to Kit, whom's a bitch? Somone whom easily moves on and find replacements in relationship fast?

To Dayne,

i'm not the girl whom you used to know ass-hole. We broke off like months ago. Since late November till now, it's like, 2 months. I've grown. I've got over it. The people around me had made my life more brighter. I remembered facing the heart break for like weeks. But i'm sorry that my life is soo much better and happier without you. I'm sorry that my friends are more supportive than yours. I'm sorry that i get to go out, shop and have fun. And i'm soo sorry that others love me, for me. You are damn pathetic. You rant at me for moving on? Keep saying that i never keep to my words? Ay dumb-ass, how am i to fulfil my duty when we've parted? So why if i club? Why if i get to know more friends? Why if i have fun? You totally don't know me now. My past was like years back. I wouldn't let history to repeat will i? Am i such a bumb-er? Like you? Of course not. And the hell, it's none of your business about my whatever-ship thingy. I didn't slide my way through his heart. I didn't scam it. The hell you don't know how or why. So just shut that farkin mouth of yours. I LOVE RiFKY. It got nothing to do with you. I LOVE MY LiFE NOW. It got nothing to do with you. I LOVE MY FRiENDS. It got nothing to do with you. So get a life, a new hobby. Bleeuurrgghh. Oh yess, i'm simply never jealous about that new friend of yours, ERNiE. Why would i? You blab soo much about her. Talk cock. But wth, i'm simply happy for you. Really. WHY? So that i have a bugger less around me. And you are o.n.e of them. Go divert all the attention to her, not me. You big egoistic bugger. I'm simply contented of all that i have now. Alhamdulilah. I won't talk to you nicely anymore when you call. You are just a 'hi-bye' friend to me now. The past is history. The chapters closed. Issk. Soo long, good byee.

Sorry yall, for that stupiak h.a.t.e note. No choice. Everytime when i wanna tell him off, he'd go offline soo fast. I wouldn't wanna waste the SMS-es on him. It's worthless. Not even to waste my breath to call and talk. So, so long sucka!

Often meet up iKY nowadays whenever i'm free. Spent some qood quality times with him. I smile from ear to ear whenever i'm with him. He's the pillar that strenghten me. He takes good care of me and spoil me like a child. I simply adore this dude. Simply the best uh, next to my family. Hehe! Every moment spent is the moment i treasure. Everytime when i'm down, i'll flash back to the good laughter and fun times we had. It's enough to medicate the stress-ings. I'll always remember his words and put it to good use. Thank youu prince. Loving youu is the best thing i do..

Went out with Ally to distress nowadays. And when we meet, we bitch. Haha! Talk about the 'bestfriends'.. Kuakuakua! Why eeh they have to be like that? Don't they find it stupid doing what they do? Issk. Having a me-wannabe is no f.u.n at all ookies. I'm like no longer being the o.n.e with the own unique identity. All because i have a twin wannabe. Whatever i like, that bugger like. Whatever i do, that bugger also follow. Issk. Uurgh. Whatever uh. I'm still the cute one. Hahahahaha! Go pick flowers lahh you dumb bitch. Do what you always do best puh-leese. Be yourself. Don't be a fake-r.

Ok lahh that's all. Muaxx!

((PIXXIES TIME))

FYI, the pixxies aren't editted because of my laziness. So what you see is what you get. The whole lot of it are the raw ones. Heheh! Laugh as you want, i don't give a shit.

*ME & my lobang idung.. Haha! Menikmati lahh..

*He's one of them. My cast. Hmm.. But he's funny as a person.

*My dance partner, EL.

*DD.. My dear bestie brudder!

*My girlfriend; iFFA. Love her to bits. Hehehe.

*The Cutie and The Minah. Haha! She's the one who admitted sia. ;))

*OMG. Like drunkards. High on alcohol. Euurgh.

*Ok. That's Ministry Of Sound. The outside. Hahaha!

*Lord Of The Ring. Haha! Our commitment.. :))

*Stepp-ing ader cicak. Haha! Then the muka all look so retarded.

*Kiss kiss. Love love. Miss miss.

*Eeyer.. Haha! The fun times we had.. iKYBELLE o6'

*Some pixxies of iKY&friends in THAILAND. Him and the Minah Kotai. Hahaha!

*The tuk-tuk. James Bond loves this mobile. And so does them. Haha!

*The whole lot of them. The thaiTRIP 06'.

** That's all folks. **

2006-01-23T15:13:00.001+08:00

SORRY FOR THE DISAPPEARENCE

Got lost in the Jungle of Blog..

Haha! Crapps..

Highlighting some important things in Life:

* Ok, IBU&AYAH's back! Wee~..

* It's my deardear NUR-DIL's 21st birthday! Pass me ya pixxies lahh, tell me how you want it to be and i'll edit for you kkk! Bila nak kluar together eh Dila..? Hmm.. :))

* Officially tied the knot with RiFKY on 17th Jan 06.

* Soup Of The Day's performance at ITE Bedok for the Roadshow 06'.

* My dance performance for the same event at the same place.

* Vid production coming up.

Ok that's for now. More memories and important events in the making. So far, everything's alhamdulilah.. Few ups and downs but that's life. I'll update as per usual again when permitted.

I'm taking some days or maybe weeks off from the blogging world.

Have tonnes of things on my mind.

I'll be back to share.

Maybe soon.

Just have some patience.

THANKYOUU

Anyway, anyone is still welcome to tagg my taggy or nudge me in MSN if there's mail. Or whatever. I'll be glad to serve.

2006-01-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today's my bestie's birthday. Hence yesterday night, i went down to his lil celebration with his friends. Initially, it was supposed to be at Momo. I went down with Ally and Yan. But we couldn't make it for the free entry as it was a loong queue. So we entered with a cover charge. It was soo pack! But the moment i saw the club was mats and minahs infested, i lost my mood drastically. Hate it sia. It's like soo fast, the mats and minahs came to conquer the place. Issk. To add to the situation, the birthday boy was freaking late! Dumb-ass. Haha!

Boi, the birthday boy, got lost while finding the club. What's more, he's riding. He ended up at MOS but when Ally and i directed him to Momo, he got more lost than ever. Serious case of a dumb-er. Haha! He then parked his bike at P.S and took a cab to Momo. Issk. That's when i decided to get his a Street Directory as his birthday present this year! Hahaha! By the time he reached Momo, my friends left. Ok, i don't wish to elaborate why. Anyway, after that, i totaly lost the mood to club. So Boi and i headed down to Insomnia at C.H.I.J.M.E.S and met up with his friends. We sat down, drank, chilled and listened to the music from the live band. They were fantabulous! The environment was cool.. The crowd was mostly foreigners. No mats nor minahs. No YPs nor wannabes. Kuakuakua! Had a blast time chatting and celebrating Boi's birthday!

But in the mid of every second, i always think of my huney Iky. I can't help but keep messaging him to tell him my whereabouts and to let him know that i missed him. I don't wish him to worry about me here. Cause as i promised, i'll take care and don't get into trouble. And so i've been good. Hehe! Can't wait for him to be back here to take care of me again!! Hehexx!

Anyway, after Insomnia, we walked down Clarke Quey and Boat Quey. Just to stroll and kill time. Anyway, we all have too much to drink that we need to work it out. We passed by lotsa clubs and pubs. Like RAV, Desire, Eski and lotsa new hot spots. After a loong walk, we headed down to Bencoolen for supper. After which, Boi sent me till home. Such a loong day i had.. And i slept as soon i got to grab my babyTIGGER! Hehe!

So long.. Zzz..

2006-01-15T18:28:00.000+08:00

Soup of The Day. The new name of the band. A new look, a new future. Still a 3 piece band for now, Deedee, Fai and Dayne, are back together for a whole new game! Wee~.. Deedee told me that indeed they are looking forward for the fourth member. Still ain't sure who'll be but for sure there'll be! Hehe! Well, Three Tymes Mistaken will always be in my heart. The memories we had will still be freshly painted in my mind.. Love ya'll~.. Thanx Deedee, for everything. It's an honour having you as a friend and a brother of mine.

"That night, the night i'll always remember.. Solemnly in my heart, i locked you up and accepted your love fully. The love i never thought will bloom. The You i never thought i'll know, is now forever the love of my lifetime.." -shalyn

Iky and i met up the day before he flew off to Thailand. We met up around 8pm. We were supposed to have dinner together and get my Wonka chocs as promised by him. Hehehe! He came to pick me up at my void and we head down to Millenia Walk. Iky and i dressed alike. We both wore our Adidas black jacket and jeans. Hehe! But i wore slippers. It was raining and i don't wish to wear shoes. So i looked kinda slack. Blueargh.

Sweety and i went to Candy Empire first to get the chocos. With chocs everywhere, i feel soo angelic like im in heaven!! I grabbed my big bar of Wonka choc and a small bar for Ally. Sibuk jer minah tu, kirim kirim. Haha! We then headed down to Marina to get our late dinner. Packed a meal from Burger King as most food stores are closed liao. Before we found a place to eat, Iky surprised me with this cute cuddly thingy! It's baby Tigger! It's sooo soft and cute seh.. Loove it! He wants me to sleep well when he's away. Sweetest thoughts from a guy! That's partly why he's amazing in person..

We then sat at the bridge near One Fullerton and ate our dinner. Had a great time chatting and cuddling.. Soon, we decided to take a stroll. We walked down Boat Quey, Clarke Quey, all the way to MOS, Club Momo and ended up at the Speaker's Corner! Fuuh! Jauh sia! Haha! MOS was freaking crowded! Had Khendi's having a blast there on the 13th and 14th. The queue was super loong. We saw celebrities there too! Hehe! Behind Momo, there's this big open field where you can see people flying remote kites! It was soo interesting! It's like controlling a jet fighter! It's light and you can do tricks while flying it. The colourful lights was beautiful.. Iky and i fell in love with this new thingy we saw. We wanted to get this thing and make that as our new hobby! Hahah! Simply cool sia..

At Momo, the crowd was kinda weak. But i was surprised to see a spread of Mats and Minahs! Eeewww~... What the hell?! Ah. They're everywhere! We didn't stop there for more than a minute. When we reached the Speaker's Corner, we both chilled and cuddled up. Enjoyed the moments spent with him. The best momories yet.. Iky's going off for his Thai trip in hours time. I thought i'll be ok here coz it's gonna be just a few days. But didn't i expect to miss him sooo much! I do feel lonely at times. I miss his voice. His warm arms. His hugs. His kisses. I miss him. I never thought i'll feel soo weak and liveless without him. Haaaiz.. Can't wait for his return!

Anyway, that night was a perfect night. We had fun. The night i'll never forget. The best are yet to come. And that's the last time i saw him. Hopefully, i can get to pick him up on the day he ruturn to Singapore..

2006-01-15T13:08:00.000+08:00

Iky's flight was due on the 14th Jan 06. Departured: 5.05pm.

The Air Asia flight was delayed three times. Iky and friends was supposedly to fly off at 11am initially. After a looong delay, they finally took off. Iky messaged me the moment they reached Thailand. It was around 8.15pm. Hehe! And so i was soo happy and jumpy the moment i received the message.

They are at Chak Tun Chak. Bunking in at the Ambasador Hotel. That night, they chilled and had lil shopping for dinner and listened to live bands. Cool ay.. But they had more fun when they tried their local delicacies, that is Insects! Eeewww~... Baby Iky called me up and told me that they ate insects such as roaches an grasshoppers. The creepy crawlies were actually fried and seasoned to taste. Blueargh! The moment i heard him say, i lost all appetite for food! Haha!

Well, they knocked out quite early after that. Had an early rest. I guess they have more places to go before actualy head back here to Singapore. Well, i pray for their safety there. Though i heard lotsa stories and am beware of the unforeseen circumstances, i hope they take extra careful of themselves. May they have a blast time there! Hehs!

2006-01-14T10:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a blast! Went to school in the laaaate afternoon and then out with Iky and friends. Fun! Fun! Fun! I'll elaborate in my next entry ookies. Heheh! Sorry liao.. Nak outz uh.

Baby Iky's flight is delayed till tomorrow morning. Yeayness! Haha! So i'm gonna meet him in a while to have dinner. Oh yahh, he promised to get my Wonka chocs too! Hehehe! Double yeayness!! Love him to bits and pieces!! Of cause it's not because of the chocs ookies.

Anyway, out to Momo with Ally tonight is cancalled. But tomorrow, MOS, ermmm... Still considering. Got cover charge and all. If the birthday boy's belanja-ing, i don't mind. Hahaha! Futhermore i don't wish to make Iky worry soo much about me here. Though i'm pretty sure i can take care of myself. Whatever my decision is, i'll decide with deep thoughts. Hmm.. Ok, got to go! See ya! Ok ok.. I owe 2 days entry. I know. Issk. Bye!

2006-01-13T16:57:00.001+08:00

As promised, the updates. Heheh! Ok, let's start with the day of the double-date, 12th Jan 06. I went to school only so much later. Handed up my super overdued assignment only to get a scolding from Mr Tim. But after later, i said my apologies and he shared his concerns for me. Thank you Mr Tim. I'll definitely keep your advices to full use..

Well at around 4pm, class ended. Iky was supposed to meet me up but the hell i don't know where he is! Called and messaged umpteen times but to no avail. Missing and wanted by me!! Issk. Ok then, i decided to go home instead of waiting. I already feel sooo malas. But at the moment i was about to head home, Iky was found!! Rewards! Yeay! Urgh. Reason by reason he gave. But i'm cool. Am gettin 6 wonkas. Hahaha! I just love Iky.

He came to pick me up 20 minutes later and we headed down to Bedok Interchange. Me in my school uni, my A3 project pieces in hand and a story book. I looked soo geeky! I felt like as if im walking around looking for a job with my potfolio. Nevertheless, strangers did complimented my designs. I was soo flabbergasted! Haha! And Iky, he looked soo gorgeous. Even after his new cut hair. Heheh! Well, we both then headed down to Marina S.C. for our dinner. Iky and i had a superdy duperdy dinner at Pizza Hut. Just the two of us! Our first ever sweet dinner together.. Aww~...

Before we went to meet the other couple, Kit and Omar, Iky surprised me with an Adidas jacket. Aaaaaahhhhh!! Im totally lost for words!! I love it! I simply love it! So much! Thank you Iky! Hahaha!

Ok ok. We met up the couple at Suntec City. Iky and i bought ourselves a pair of lense of the same colour, grey. We both blanja-ed the other couple a pair each too. In total, the price we paid was $99. Damnn.. Anyway, the day got so much better after that when the four of us went to KBox for a blasting good time! The kings blanja-ed us ladies a whole good time! We sang, ate and drank. The kings were just sooo cute when they sing! Love my baby Iky!

At around 3am, i reached home, all tired and exhausted. A lil high still but i managed. Heh! Ok lahh, i typed too long now. Let some of this nothing-much pixxies conclude it all.

2006-01-11T08:59:00.000+08:00

OK! Updates!! Hahahahaxx! Well, Salam Iduladha to all!! Missing the family at Mecca soo much. May Allah guide and bless them. Ameen. Waiting for the day of their return and i totaly can't wait! Miss my Ibu and Ayah!! I'm sure Kakak misses them as freakin much too.. Lagi-lagi the lil sissy of mine and the prince. Hehe!

Anyway, last Friday on the 6th, Ally and i went out on a Girls' Day Out. Met her up in the evening and we headed down to Paradigm for her job interview. Well, well, well.. Introducing the new Door Bitch, Ally!! Hahahahaxx! Nahh.. She was actually hired on the spot as a waitress. Happy sia babe! Haha! We then decided to head down to Club Momo. Just the ladies. Just us. Hehe! Celebrated Happiness! Cool~...

We had a few bottles before we actually entered the club. We sat somewhere, chilled, smoked, drank.. We opened up and shared stories. Got a lil wee bit emo but we got over it sooo soon. Haha! Independant ladies liao.. Bluek! And so, we then entered the club. We paid nothing for the cover charge as the entrance is free before 11pm. Well, personally, the interior decor was smooh and beautiful. The laid back New Yorkish look. Simply loove the sitting beds! The drapes in the members' area and the Live Room are simply gorgeous! The whole velvety and maroonish theme has a sensuality that just attracts. Feewit! Not forgetting the Ladies Room. Super fantabulous! Hahahaxx! Ah. No words to describe. Isssk.

Ok, overall, Momo was super. No mats no minahs. Great musiq, great crowd, great atmosphere. Simply love it! Haha! Next, this weekend i may be checking out Ministry of Sound. Well, it's Boi's birthday. He's gonna have a blast there. He invited me. Hehe! Still, i ain't sure whether i'll be going. Ally, amaciaaaaaam?? Kuakuakua!!

Ok, the past few days was a disaster. Hmm.. Don't know what to say. I'm simply disappointed, angry and definitely pissed. Issk. Nevermind. I'm cool now. Don't wish to rake it back up.

Yesterday, i was out with Ally. Wanna shop initially but nothing interests me. Instead we went to catch a movie. Haha! We watched Wallace and Gromit. Heheheh! Cool movie i must say. And i received a cool handphone strap upon buying the snacky. Weee~.... Hehe! Then went to meet Omar and my dear Rifky. As usual, the guys were late. Issk.

I miss Rifky. Missing him terribly. The moment i saw him yesterday, i swear almost pounce on him and hug him till he turn blue. But i fear i may look so inhumane. Hahaha! But trust me baby, that was what i wanna do. When he stared at me in confusion yesterday, he looked soo charming i couldn't bare to blink my eyes. Isk. Iky never fail to brighten up my day. Make me happy.. And make me realize i'm worth more than i thought i am. I feel so special ever since i knew him. He's my MrBrightside. Loving him is the only thing i can do. Oh well, he's flying off to Thailand in 3 days time. Isssk. I'm sad. But what the heck, i've captured his heart. At least i've kept it safe in me. Hehehexx!! Miss you baby..

See ya soon ya'll!!!

2006-01-07T23:00:00.000+08:00

NO UPDATES!!

I'm soo sorry.

My lappy's not with me lahh for this past few days.

So anyway, i've promised some peepsies i'll update.

Ok here goes, i'll elaborate more in my next entry.

But for now, nothing much to share except for...

I'M MISSING SOMEONE TERRIBLY.

Oh hell yeah.

And ermm, i think i'm falling..

*Iky,will you catch me if i fall?? Hmm..

2006-01-04T07:57:00.001+08:00

K, i'm suppose to do this '7 things' stuff but since i'm plaaaain lazy, i'm giving myself a discount. Hahaha! But to those other peeps that i've assigned to do this, NO DISCOUNT ookies. So here goes..

7-3=4
So i'm gonna do only 4 in each category. Heheheh!

4 THINGS THAT SCARES ME

roaches

bugs

heights

drunkards

4 THINGS I LIKE MOST

caramel

adidas

shopping

faeries and butterflies

4 IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY ROOM

lappy

celly

ipody

mtvee

4 THINGS I SAY THE MOST

eeyer

huh

craazeee

4 THINGS I CAN'T DO

turn back time

hate people

grow taller

fight

4 THINGS I CAN DO

love strangers

curse and swear

play games all day

watch muvees again and again

4 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

ask forgiveness

cleanse myself

make everybody around me happy

achieve my dreams

4 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

not a girl, not yet a woman

temperamental

self-concious

lazy

4 PEOPLE THAT WILL HAVE TO DO THIS

dilaaa

rennyy

rifkyyy

anyone who wants to do this lahh

2006-01-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

1st day of the year, i spent it with family.. Went out only at noon to Tampines. Initialy i had thoughts to shop but imtimidatingly, something spoiled my mood. Urgh. So, i had dinner at Haagen-Daz. Yummay~.. Hahaha! But super expensive! Isk. Take a look at the pixxies. Beutifully served.. Creatively snapped, and yummay-liciously eaten! Haha! The taste is super i tell you!

Okay, it'a already the 2006. Notice my new template design?? Heheheh! My hands are too itchy. It urged me to design and change my bloggie's appearance. And there you have it! A retro kinda look. Hehe! Love the rainbow colours.. Makes me feel more soother. And ermm, kinda love the retro theme. A new addiction i think.. Heheheh!

Well, my new year countdown was fantabulous! Went to the Mambo Jambo, organised by Zouk and Singtel. Entered a whole new era. A beatifully decored. And surrounding me was 90% non-malays! Kuakuakua! No mats nor minahs. No reggae. It was something new to me.. The music.. The atmosphere.. But i love it! For the first time, i sang more than i danced. Hahaha! Sheikh Haikel and his RedMob crew was there to entertain us. The crew gave away a MILLION sms to one of the lucky clubber. Gosh! SMS-ing sampai next new year pon tak bole habis punya! Haha! Lucky her.. Anyway, i bumped into a few celebrities and one of them is Jamie Yeo. She's sooo hyper on that night! Well, that's how i welcomed 2006. And i'm soo sorry. I am only allowed to publish a photo of that night. And i chose this because i love the feel of the atmosphere in the picture. Fantabulous..

Well, today is my last day of my holiday. Issk. Macam tak cukup gitu.. Haha! Anyway, school starts tomorrow. I'm to push myself to the limit. Make the last three months of my ITE days worthwhile. Prepare myself of the lonely days. As i wish no one to drag me down. And so, even if it means that i have to be just by myself, i'll do it. I don't wish to waste time anymore. Three more months to endure and then, POOF! I'll be gone... Insya'allah.

And i got the bestest news this year! 3XM is back!!! My three sweeties! My three buddies! My three tymes mistaken! Haha! Text me soon ookies Deedee! Ermm.. But i've changed my no. I'll pass it to you in MSN kkk! Heheheh! *jumps around*

Rifky told me something about *someone* and *someone*. OMG! Let me ask you peeps, what's your opinion if your two friends were to make out right in front of your two eyeballs?? And the hell, they knew you're there but they just don't give a damn. Horny liao.. Isssskkk! What will you feel and what's opinions about such fucktards? If me dearRifky, i won't hesitate to smacck their foreheads reaaaal hard. Haha! Shitty people.. And i still don't get it. She's attached. Already have a scandal. And now another one in the making? Urgh. I don't bother anymore. Lantak lahh..

2006-01-01T10:26:00.000+08:00

Anyway, i just would like share this exciting news with yall.. Few says back, i got myself a Motorala Razor V3 Pink handphone. Heheheh! Pink ya noe~..

Thankyouu to those whom this may concern! Thankyouuu sooo much! Love the size, it's so slim.. And the colour.. Soo yummay! Haha! Ok lahh time's catching up on me so fast. Gotta end here.

And this is the 1st picture i took with my new gadget.. Hahaha! With the big bee-eyes shade; don't know whose! I look soo geeky.. Haha! By the way, photoshop is applied a lil to minus off the penyebok in the background.. Hahahaha!

2006-01-01T07:58:00.000+08:00

Heya! First of all, it's the New Year Eve today. So, HAPPY advance NEW YEAR!! Hellooooo 2006~.. Haha! Just like every year.. The days seems to pass by so fast and before we know it, it's another new year.. So.. New year, new resolution? New ambition? New clothes? New boyfriend? New dreams? Aiyoh. Everything new lahh! Haha! As for me.. I just hope for a new ME. And new memories in the making!!

Ok. I know the updates are late. Well, sorry.. Plain lazy liao.. Haha! Alright, firstly, the Christmas celebration was great! Chilled and had some fun wif my bestie Calista, Stuart smally, crazy Jiven, handsome dude Danny, darling Rifky and lots more! Simply fantabulous! My lil Princess Jana looks sweet and adorable! The guys were smartly dressed.. And of course, down to the ladies, i simply say, we're GORGEOUS! Hahaha! But, Calista was really the most gorgeous babe that evening.. My bestie was really like the Princess. Breath-taking.. Jaw-dropping.. Woah~.. Right smally? Right Jiv? Right babyRIFKY? Ehem! Haha! Anyway, this babe of mine's celebrating her birthday this 1st January. But unfortunately, she'll be out of town. Flying off to KL. Well babe, I MISS YOU!! Let's have a ravishing party when ya back ookies! Muaxx!

Ok next, it's all about re-cap-ing the year 2005. It's a year of soo-much-happenings. Ah. Every year also have it's story.. So today, i'm gonna walk down the memory lane of 2005.. Awww~ Bluek!

The beginning of the year was suppose to be a new life for me. Being part of someone and being someone's special person.. Dayne. Almost a year today we're if not, together. A year full of ups and downs.. Rocky situations and temporarily seperations. Bull shits. What ever it is, i've spent almost every day of 2005 with him. So, no doubt lotsa memories made. Well, we're friends now. I wish 2006 will be a smooth friendship of him and me.. Heheh!

School for me has been great. Though lotsa stuffs been goin on, i still love goin to school. I'm only left with three more months to graduate.. Haaiz. How time flies. While at it, i made lotsa new friends and so on.. Achieved certain things and learnt certain stuffs. Haha! The dinner and dance.. The Wireless Session.. OMG.. Lotsa happenings babe!

Can never forget, the Three Tymes Mistaken! Love them to bits.. It's been a great honour to have been given the chance to manage yall.. Yasin, you've been absolutely fantabulous on the guitar! Dayne, let the bass keep on running ay.. Fai, the Barker-wannabe. He's a formed drummer. Great and talented.. Miss those times we spent just the three of us! You, dayne and myself.. Chilling and stuffs.. Gosh.. Deedee, miss those voice when you sing.. Thanx for the beautiful memories.. The outings we had, the laughter.. The everything! Appreciate it and missed it freaking much too.. And yeah, i'll keep the smiles for you.. Thanx for the catch when i fell.. You are one great friend Deedee! Miss yall!!!

Well, the 2005 is the year i'm with the CSCians.. Cool people! Frankly, i missed everyone.. Sis Ana, Chet-y, Hermy, Wak, White, Durani, Egg man, Syafiq, Isyah pelat, the twins.. EVERYONE!! Issk.. Hope to see yall again sometime soon.. But not in CSC uh. Haha! The moments i can never forget, the CSC chalet! Beautiful memos..

2005, the year of my new ShutterflyInc production!! 'Wayang' is my baby. The project that i'm gonna make it boom. Insya'allah.. With much faith and believe and also hardwork. 'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!' Hahaha! Only my casts and crew will understand the joke behind it.. Haha!

The year my IBU and AYAh went to haji.. Am still missing them badly.. Haaiz.. But IBU messaged my two days ago! She said that everyone's fine but contracted a lil bit of the flu disease. Granny have to do her Haji with the wheelchair.. And also she said, it was super crowded back there.. Haaizz... Hehe!

Next, is specially written for Rifky. Well, he's one of my cast in my shortfilm. Besides that, he's a good friend of mine.. My dearestDARLING of all time. He's sweet, caring.. He never fails to make me smile. Cheer me up when i'm down. I want you know that i will always treasure you in my life. For all you've done for me, iLOVEu. For who you are.. For doing what you do.. I hope for the best for you in 2006!! Muaxx!

So that's the story of my 2005. Those were just the highlights. In reality, lotsa things actualy happened. Some that i don't intend to remember. Haaizz.. But, it's been a wonderful year.. Love it. Learnt from the past histories.. Then keep the best out of it and forget the lil lil ones. Make new memories every year and don't forget to die hard for it! Haha! Make every year the best out of it! So here i am, wishing each and every one of you, family and friends.. And everyone else.. HAPPY 2006!!

*sorry guys for taking your pixxies! it's all taken from friendster*

*im soo sory and happy new year to you babes!!*

yours sincerely,

SHALYN

xoxo

2005-12-25T09:26:00.000+08:00

Aaarghh! Why am i still dwelling on the past?? It's hard for me to let go, i don't deny. That shows how much i treasure having him. Well, i appreciate every inch of love he showered me.. But.. I've lost faith. Goodbye to you..

I'm sad. But life have to move on.. Yada yada yada.. Those normal words people use to console the break up facers. Issk. I shall not think reflect. Just learn from the mistakes. I'm done with this fairytale. It's not even a happy ending!! Damn you! I hate such stories.

Ah. I don't give a shit. You are who you are and i can't change you and vice versa. Thanx for the almost a year of nothing-ness. Woohoo! Heartbreakers are the sleaziest most fucked up morons in the whole wide world! There. You heard it. I'm disappointed and angry and pissed and ladida dida dida... So much to say baby..

Maybe Raynie was right. Maybe Brandon was right. Maybe E.D was right. Maybe Kit was right. Maybe i was wrong. You know why? I held on. I believe. Ah. Fuck all that. Soo much love yet destroyed with just a prick of a needle. And that's your fucking ego baby. I'm done here about you. I'm soo moving on. No more of love nonsense. And yes, i believe now, my parents was right.

Today's the eve of Christmas. I'm going off to a Christmas party with the bestie Cal, smally Stu, MYmrBEE izal, and few more others. I was guaranteed with a night of fun and madness. Cool. That's what i really need. Ay, don't worry, i won't go back to the old me. No hardcore clubbing and drinking.. I'm never gonna be selfish. My friends loves me. They will keep an eye on me while i go through this heartpain period of hell. Thanx to you.

Yesterday, i head down to Changi beach for a while. Kit and Jepon is having a 3-day overnight there. The rest of us came down and had some chillin times.. Lots of them came down the night before and had a laughing good time. But i only came yesterday afternoon after school. My so-called Abang Goatie drived me and MYmrBEE there. Later, myBEE and i went on a shopping spree.. Weee~.. Saja nak distress.. I bought an adidas sling bag, Za stuffs, Body shop perfume and mascara. MyBEE bought some stuff too. It's so sweet of him to accompany me and let me have a thrash out. Well, he was a great company! Saw few peeps around in town.. Like ex-3XM lead guitarist Yasin's girlfriend. She's soo gorgeous! Asked about the band and was shocked to know that they've disband not long ago. Isk. Don't worry babe, i was disappointed too.. They were great though hard to handle. Heh.

Anyway, thanx to those who stood by me. Love yall to bits. To all the people whose pixxies appeared up there, yall are appreciated in a way or another. Thanx for the everything.. All this while. Ibu and Ayah's not in.. I should feel more lonely then ever.. Thinking, i can't pull this through. But no matter what, i still fear the worst..

Ok, got to go cry my heart out so i won't drink my sorrows away later at night. Hehs.

2005-12-23T04:07:00.000+08:00

The END

And CHAPTERS closed.

Why?

It's so easy for you to say the words?

And easy for you to break it too?

I HATE you HEARTBREAKER.

I don't know what's next.

I don 't even dare say if this is permanent or temporary.

Allah, pleasse guide me..

2005-12-20T16:50:00.000+08:00

The days are passing by so fast. It's already the Wednesday. Gosh! This weekend will be Christmas and on the following week is New Year! 2006, here we come!! Haha! So many things to accomplish and do before 2005 ends.. It's been a year of wonderful memories. Well, every year have its story right? Hmm.. I wonder how am i concluding 2005.. So just wait up till the eve for it ookies!

Anyway, a lil update on the past days.. The bbq birthday bash was great. Lei Ling was a very good host. Although i didn't stay till the cutting cake session, the bbq-ued food was fantabulous! Dayne and i had quite a blast time there and we left with a very full tummy! Hahaha! Thanx for the invite again Lei Ling! Happy advance 21st yahh! ((:

On the very next day, i spent my whole day time till dawn editting my shortfilm script! Dang! It was a bloody rush. I then printed out the script with a total of 30 pages! Issk. While the poor printer's printing, i bathed and got ready. My casts and crew are freaking waiting for me. Oops! I'm soo sooo sorry guys. I didn't mean to. I've informed in advance i couldn't make it as i had an important stuff. But wth, since you peeps are damn eager and excited, i do yall the great favour. Heheh! Thanx anyways, for the patience and enthusiasm... Truthfuly, i'm excited about this production but, i fear the worst too. But i have faith. We'll meet up this Thursday ookies for the practice. Oh yahh, Li, if you happen to read this, my production really needs you. I totaly believe and have faith in you, that you can do this great favour for me. Pretty please.. Though i can't force, i hope you do consider this properly.. ((:

And yesterday is the emo day for me and the rest of my family. My Ibu and Ayah, my favourite aunts and uncles as well as my lovable granny flew off to Jeddah to perform their Haji. They'll only be back next year on the 19th January. I'm gonna miss them truckloads! Anyway, i'll be praying for them. Semoga selamat pergi dan selamat kembali.. Moga juga mereka mendapat haji yang makbruh.. Insya'allah.. Ibu and Ayah!! I miss you terribly. Aunt Min and Lin too.. And of course, Granny.. I promise to behave here. Just come back safe and sound ookies.. Issk. Ya Allah, lindungi lah mereka..

Today i came back to school. After a loong weekend, i'm back. And back to my assignments and projects. Gonna be busy, busy, busy. Stress liao.. Till next week, i have to get my game for the mobile devices done, my advance 3D mini project and lots more done! Issk. Can't afford to slack. Futhermore, no time for leisure or hobbies. But i won't forgo a day of rest, relex and stress-free. At least a day in a week! Or i'll go bonkers! Hahaha! Dayne picked me up from school today and we had dinner together. Ate Japanese food at Fork and Spoon. Heheh! Nice liao.. But some of their side dishes taste weird.. But wth, it was great. After that, he send me straight home. Home Sweet Home, is where i am now will be, often. Heh. I'm a good girl and a filial daughter ok. Can't help it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMALLY STUART!! Hahaha! Stuart is my best bud. He's o.n.e dumb eurasian bestfriend of mine! Oops! Sorry.. Hahahaha! Anyway, he's a nice chap. He really takes good care of his friends around him. When i'm drunk, he did takes good care of me. Hahaha! Well, dude, HAPPY BIRTHDAY again!! And yahh, i won't let you and Cal all down. The celebration at dbl-o tomorrow, i'll come ookies! Heheh! ((: Respect!

2005-12-17T13:00:00.000+08:00

1st of all, i wanna shout out a big THANKYOUUS to my family and friends who've been there for me when im down and sick. Thanx for all the care and concern.. The accompanies when i can't sleep and whining due to my sickness. THANK YOUU SOO MUCH YA'LL!! For the rest, thanx for your DOA.. Alhamdulilah.. I'm recuperating.. Slowly.. (((:

Anyway, as you can see, new layout! Hehehexx! Not much different lahh.. The size and all is still the same. I freaking donno how to make my layout appear full size, 800x600. Issk. Don't care liao.. As long as readable and visible, ok go! Hahah! But what do ya'll think, ok? I like it.. Simple and sweet ay.. :p

A little update about the week..
Nothing much actualy. School work's piling.. As usual. Life's goin smoothly.. Alhamdulilah..
I managed to finish up my assignments on time. But wth, new ones have landed!!

#01 Game for Mobile devices
#02 Shooting for my shortfilm, 'Wayang'
#03 Animation for my Advance 3D

Haaaaizz~... And yes yes yes!! I'm left with only 3 more months to graduate!! Woohooo!! End of March, my last day! Note that people! Hehehexx!

ERMMMM.. Few days back, i've received an advance christmas gift from my family.. It's urmmm...

AN iPOD VIDEO 60GB!!! Hahahahahaxx!! Sweet sweet sweet! Thank you Dad! Thank you Mom! It's a wonderful gift.. My gosh, it's expensive.. It's cost freaking more than a PSP of a Giga Pack! Hahs. And it's Black. I'm soo excited.. Can view movie.. Music vids.. Photos.. Can insert games.. I'm soo excited! Heheh! I'm soo excited!!

Oh yess, have ya'll heard? The boyband Backstreet Boys is coming to town. I wanna go and see their concert uh.. Know why? Hehexx! Meeting them used to be my childhood dream.. Back then when i was in early secondary years, i did vow to wait for them to make a come back here to Singapore and that i' m not gonna miss their live performances again. Hehs. I ain't that all excited lahh.. It's just that i wish to fulfil my dream when i was a kiddo. Just because i missed the first time when they came here.. Hehs. Sweet sweet.

So today i'm going out. Lei Ling, my classmate is celebrating her 21st birthday at Pasir Ris chalet. The whole class is invited and i don't wanna miss it for the world! Am bringing Dayne along.. It's been quite sometime since i last meet him. Miss him lahh.. Hehexx! So later!

2005-12-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously very sick. So no updates for awhile ookies. I'll blogg again,

it's a promise.

Meantime, prayers are all i have, left.

May i get well, again..

*Anyway Fazli, these are for you. Did these while having a break from my assignments. Like it? You have 5 pieces altogether to collect from me ookies! ((=

#01
#02

2005-12-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

"Be strong Girl".. Issk. I'm sick still. From fever to flu. Now, the aftermath of it plus cough and flu again. Sick. Sick. SICK. Weak. Weak. WEAK.. It's killing me.

I've been a good girl though. Been eating my meds regularly, watch my daily diet intake, get plenty of rest.. But i still can't deny that the pain im feeling is really hurting me. When i cough, not only my throat hurts but so does my head. It's stinging.. Isk. Once in a bluemoon i get Cough and when the virus attacks me, it attacks me soo bad.. I'm still lethargic. Too weak. All i'm afford to do today is walk to the clinic(again), eat breakfast, take my meds, lie down and rest.. Did some assignments and rest again. Damn.. I do eat, but i just don't have the energy. Rest enough, but am still lethargic. Issk.. Complain. Complain. COMPLAIN. Hahaha!

Anyway, Dayne accompanied me to the clinic today. It was a loong wait but worthy. After all that, we ate breakfast together and he left for his work. Anyway, there's a DMD Graduation Showcase tomorrow at ITE Macp. It's called the Spectrum. The function will start at 1.30 pm.. Oh how i wish i could be there.. I would love to see all the creative and outstandinding pieces done by the pioneer batch. Wth, i've got school to attend; attendance that is.

Anyway, i've 03, THREE pending assignments to rush.
#01 game trail
#02 advance 3D assignment
#03 script for my shortfilm
Haaiz.. Haaiz. Haiz. Though i'm finishing school super early tomorrow, at 3pm, i do have cheer practice. Isk. It's for the new year lahh.. It's gonna be shown in the media but i don't know which one. TV? Paper? Poster? I don't care. Period. Then, work at seven.. ISSSK!

Ee-yore.. Ee-yore.. Vroom! Vroom! Toot! Toot! Ding.. Dong.. Horn! Screeeeechh!! Hahahaha! Lame. Those got nothing to do with anything actually. But i wanna say something though. This month i've been visiting the cinemas alot. Watched a few movies.. It was f.u.n! I miss the movies!
*Harry Potter G F - watched with bestie Cal, dumb-er Stu and sweet lil Jana. =))
*Exorcism of Emily Rose - watched with Dayne. Spent half the time covering my eyes and ears. =p
*Chicken Little - watched with Dayne also. It was soooo cute! And so was Dayne.. Heheheh!
Shioook lahh.. Not enough! Anybody wanna go on a marathon movie with me?? Hehe! I blanja lahh.. Hahahaha!

I would like to give a shout out to Tiwari Arbind aka Tall, Dark, Handsome. Hehehe! Happy belated 21st birthday!! Sorry that i've missed the party. I was dreadly sick. Thanx for the invitation.. And i'm sincerely gonna MISS you at work.. Miss you. Happy enlistment ookies! Stay in touch.. :')

And Cal, i'm so sorry for not being there for you.. Our work place and some of them do sux, i know. Just bear with it for another sunday ookies. After that, good luck with your new job!! Hehehe! Fun! Fun! Fun! With Samantha some more.. Issk. I'm missing Stu and all.. We'll meet up soon ookies! =)))

AND... To Someone. That night you promised me to update your blogside on the Sunday. It's already the Tuesday.. Isk. I miss your jokes and crapps MrBrightside. I hope everything's all ay-ok for you there! See ya around at work ookies! Take Care! =))

2005-12-04T14:53:00.000+08:00

I'm down with fever since yesterday. Aaaauuuuuwww.. Been feeling so weak. Skip work for this weekend. Couldn't help it liao.. As i can't even lift myself out from bed to walk! Isk. Poor me ay.. But i'm feeling much better today, thanx to Dayne. Hehehe! Tankiu beezee bee!! Haha!

My weekdays are spent mostly in school and at work. At certain nights, i met up with my bestie Cal and Stu to have a drink or two and also to chill and have some fun. They're certainly my best medicine to cure the stress! Hahaha!

My school assignments are piling. Need to hand in my game trailer by next week and also finish up my story for the shortfilm. Sounds easy and simple but lotsa work to be done.. Oh yahh, the advance 3D assignment also. Isk. I've been tryin to be as early as i can for every day lesson. And also attend every single day of school. I don't care if my friends wish to slack as i won't let them affect and influence me. Hmm..

p/s: Another 1 just for you.. ((=

** Thank you for being there for me when i'm down. You filled my life with so much fun and laughter. After all we've been through, our heart still beats as o.n.e. I'll treasure you and your presence. I appreciate you and your everything. Faith is what i have in both of us. ((= **

2005-11-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

Absolut..

I've received a message.

I'v typed it out.

Now YOU read.

Ok go!

Throughout the time my heart was beating,

It's skipping and sho it's jumping.

I'm excited to get with you Gurl,

You are my world complete my circle.

I miss you so much,

Your lips, your kisses, your gentle touch.

I love you.

Still i love you.

Just to let you know my heart is still pure and true.

Ok now, don't ask me who sent it.

It's anonymous. For yall that is.

I don't know how to react nor whether to reciprocate.

All i know is that it's sweet..

And hopelessly romantic..

2005-11-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

It's 5.13pm now. I've to get ready for work. Isk. Feel damn lazy. Got a call from Suzana earlier on and she told me that part of the video assignment we did was accidently deleted by her. Dang! Ah, we'll figure out something. Anyway GOOD LUCK on the dance comp yahh! Then got an emergency msg from Calista. I don't know what's the urgency yet. Tried calling her back but can't get through. I'm anticipating now..

For a moment after that, received a msg from Dayne. As expected, he's still as egoistic as ever. If it's not for the Dad, he would still insist on crashing somewhere every weekend. Pointless arguing. I shall shut the mouth and just pray for blessings. Anyway, yahh, so much for the anniversary day, TODAY.

Life's seems unfair to Me. Random thoughts cross my mind, is it that worthy to care more about others or maybe more than yourself? Appreciating. Does that really exists or is it just a word? Another thought, another time..

P/S: Fazli.. Ya pics are ready. But just 2 for now.. Hehehehe! Contact Me ay.

2005-11-27T03:32:00.000+08:00

A brand new day~.. But the same old lazy Me. Haha! Most likely i'm gonna stay home and watch MTV for the day before heading down to work at 7pm. I feel soo lazy.. Got new stuff to take note of and understand. Isk. Leceh. Futhermore the thought of finishing my shift at 11pm later really makes me feel more lazy than ever! Haha! Anyway I was editting Chety's pix when i suddenly felt the urge to eat pineapple tarts. Hahaha! So now while updatin my bloggie, im munching my kuih raya. Yummy~..

School's assignment is piling up. After this i've to get down with my designing. Sorry Li.. I've to do what's important 1st! Hehehehe! nanti dah habis i'll continue editting the pixxies ookies! Ya know, i enjoy editting pictures. Each time i applied different techniques and learnt new skills just by editting during my free time. As a perfectionist myself, i won't stop or feel satisfied until the task is somewhat well-done. Hmm.. Perfectionist huh. Seems more like fussy-nist. Hahaha! Ok lahh, time's precious and i'm hungry. Gonna cook a simple meal for my lunch now then get back to what i'm suppose to do..

Anyway, for the record, my brain's kinda blank. Donno what to have for my meal and worst, i donno how to continue with my designs! No aspirations uh babe.. Isk. I'm only good at day-dreaming. Fantasy and dreamland is what i think i'm living in.. Wake up lahh Belle! Hahaha! Oh yahh, Hello Afro Boy! You starting to stink anyway. Hahaha!

2005-11-26T17:29:00.000+08:00

Alright now. Due to high demands (ehem!), i'm gonna update a few highlights during the months and days i went missing from this blogger world. A few things happened in my random life. Some are exceptionally surprising, sad, happy, etc.. I've been through a life quite full of ups and downs. Met new people, discovered lotsa new characters but within the same people and lots more. On top of it all, i'm still Shalyn or to most Belle. The same old Me under going certain changes in Life; which is normal.. Right? Hahaha!

25th October 2005

Got myself employed! Hahaha! I'm not excited that i got the job but i'm flabbergusted that i got it even without trying or expecting too much. Went for the interview with Kit and Liah. On the same day itself, the manager called to burst me out of the good news! Hehehe! Was kinda happy actually.. Haha! Am weird.. I know.

Went through 3 days of training and till now, i'm contented with my job even though at times i hate it. Isk. Weird Me. Ok don't ask me what i'm working as because i ain't revealing it. Bluek! It's a secret.. Shhh.. Hahaha! Don't yall worry, i cari rezeki halal tau.. Nothing of the incorrigable type. Isk. I just wanna keep it low..

The pay was kinda low but i love the environment perfectly. My colleagues are mostly friendly and great to chat with. There's a few of them whom i treasure to bits; Calista, Diana, Sis Ana, Fazli, Aishah, Hermy, Syafiq, Durani, Arbind, the Twins, and few more. especially to Cal, Sis Ana, Arbind, Diana and Fazli, they are like my extwnded family. Love them.. And everyone too.. Aww~.. Hehehe! Recently the company holds an annual chalet at Aloha Downtown. Had a blast time there with all! especially thr Rock group.. Hehe! Rock Rulez!!

Some memories we shared..

_______________________

26th October 2005

The day i turned 20! Isk. I feel so old.. Anyway the day was spent short and sweet. During the day i was at work (damn!) from 3 to 6. Later after that had a lil celebration with Dayne. he fetched Me from work and we had dinner together. Did a lil shopping wit my birthday money.. Hehe! Later we went straight back home.. Though it's short and simple but i felt happy. A lil celebration means a lil something for Me.. Hehe! The memories i shall keep.. Hehehe!

Happy Birthday To Me!! Hope i did get wiser.. Heheheh!

_______________________

22nd November 2005

The saddest moment of my life. On this faithful day, my dearest band Three Tymes Mistaken was disband. No particular reasons though.. Isk. Sad seh.. Managing the guys was becoming part of my favourite past time and hobby. Don't wish to elaborate much but with this i truly voice out, the memories we had will solemly be kept fresh in my mind and heart. I love you guys to bits. No matter wad that had happened, the band will stay true to my heart.. I conclude this; Three Tymes Mistaken left a mark on each and every fan and supporters. With much love, whatever each and every member planned for their individual future with the Musiq, i'll be right here supporting yall with much proud and love.. Tribute to yall! Deedee on lead, Yasin on guitar, Dayne on bass and lastly Fai on Drums. *peace*

The memories will stay true..

_______________________

Well that's all for now.. Penat jari-jemari ku ini tau.. Will be back yahh!

2005-11-26T16:28:00.000+08:00

Yaaaaawwwnnnnsss~..

I'm back after a freaking looong hibernation. Haha!

Lots to update on but am gona make everything simple.

The tagboard is back up again! Yeayness!

Haha!

Ok people, yall can stop bugging me to update now ok.

Let me tell yall in advance, i'm only updating once in awhile.

Don't ask so many questions ookies.

Just drop by if ya wanna and may kindly leave if the brain tells ya it's crapp.

Lastly,

WELCOME BACK TINKERBELLE!

Hahahaha!

*Peace Out*

2005-09-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

I've been complicated by people. My life's in a total mess and confusion. Take a look at the pic; it's my messy side table. And that's only a small portion in my room! Damn! Im so unorganized.. Haaiz..

I wonder should i stop blogging? I guess sharing moments of my life here is a bad idea. Either people will get agitated, devious or what-so-ever-else lahh. Emotions runs high. Feelings in control rather than the brain. Sad.. Just so sad. Well, only bloggers like i am understands. Right, Mr, Miss, Mrs Bloggers? Hmm.. For those who comes across any blogs, puh-leese.. Don't get soo emotional reading any of the entries. Yall know that reading all this is at your own discretion right? Then.... Go back home and suck on your pacifier lahh then!

You know, in aid or respect, names are usually not mention in entries. Unless its of a positive thoughts or anything's that of the relation. For a matter of fact, i don't mention names. Though usually the message is so clear that those who know, will know. But otherwise, it's a farking respect thing! Sheesh! I'm at my wit's end.....

Ookies, im tired now. And i need help to change my template!! Anyone?! Ermm... Eliza? Ishaa? Or maybe Dugong? Heheh! Known to be that ya'll are good at it right? Oh puh-leese help meeee~... Lemme know ookies! Thank you.. Heheheh! Till then, Goodbye!

2005-09-27T02:24:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating.

I'm simply busy.

Busy with shiznats.

Huh.

I'm smoking more than ever now.

Sheesh.

Anyway, i need a new layout.

CAN ANYONE HELP ME??

2005-09-17T05:02:00.000+08:00

WEDNESDAY; School's fine. Went with Liah. Did our assignments and then off we went straight home. Spent the evening in my room, lazed around, rest, chill and just be plain lazy. Haha! Ok, that's all for the lovely day spent..

THURSDAY; Skipped school! Yeay!! Hahahaha! Ain't that proud lahh.. I felt damn heavy waking up that morning and so with not much effort, i gave up and sleep in. Woke up later that afternoon, bathed, ate and did my assignments. Damn.. I still have lots more to do. Had a tiff with Dayne. Ah! Never-so-ending fights and bickers. Well, that's how we are! Haha! Later in the early evening, i went to meet Shazian. Met her up after her school. Pitied her, she was sick. So followed her back home just to see my cute babyboy, Irfan! Heheh! Then we proceeded down to do our project. Sheesh! Lots to do sia.. We had our turns doing it and while one of us is at it, the other's sure to take a nap. That determines how tired we were... But still, we did our assignment. Cheers to us!! Haha! After all's done, we headed home.. Ate, washed up and sleep! Hahaha!

FRIDAY; 1st, my darn alarm didn't ring. All three of them! Hahaha! I know, three! But the hell all three are useless! By the time i woke up, the clock showed 1030hrs. Damn.. Late and late everytime.. But even the weather was mad. It was super duper dark when i looked out the window. Signs of heavy rain plus strong wind. So i decided, let's skip school again today.. Yawnnn~.. Went back to bed. By the time i woke up about an hour or two later, the weather was freaking hot! Aik! I scratched my head. So where's the super dark clouds and strong wind? I thought it's gonna be heavy rain? Hmm.. Told ya, the weather's mad. So thought of meeting Dayne but the hell he's working today. Darn. Ah! Don't care uh! Hmm... Got something in mind about later.. Aha! Will be back blogging! Hahahaha! Bye!

2005-09-14T15:01:00.000+08:00

My To-Do list is filled with lotsa deadlines and things to be done. My assignments are starting to pile up! Gosh! But i ain't gonna bicker with myself. Organized a proper time management and am gonna stick to it. Heh. Futhermore, this term is more focused on graphic and online designing, which is somewhat closer to my passion in the media industry. I don't mind spending my everyday time infront of the comp.. Beats sketching ang drawing!! Haha!

I'm filled with a degree of happiness and glee-fulness today. Don't know why.. Sheesh! Though life nowadays are full of imagination and redeemness, i'm happy. Period. So that's it. Enough said. Bluek!

Oh yes, did i ever mention that i'm managing a punkrock band now?? Haha! Coolness.. Though weird. At the same time, i'm learning to be a good and respectable manager here. So, pleasee give me a break ookies! Haha! So due to that account, i'm busy. Ok?

Further little elaboration on [the] band:

They are called the Three Tymes Mistaken.

A 03 piece band.

Featuring Deedee on lead, Fai on drum, Dayne on bass.

I'm proud of them though i feel like i'm taking care of three baby boys.. Hehe! At times they are such a pain when they're high on their attitude but often brings joy to my life! Seeing them grow and rise are the proudest moments. Up to date, they've quite a list of performances and competitions. Wee~.. Way to go guys!!

Ok lahh, gotta sleep. Got morning school later. In fact every single weekday!! Haha! Take care now, bye bye then~..

2005-09-12T14:52:00.000+08:00

Why is there so much Hatred spread?

Why are people hating, despising, detesting one another?

I feel that there's enough hatred and war around.

Where's the Loving?

Peace?

I admit i'm a Quitter,

I quit at revenging, hating and condemning others.

I learnt.

Stop and ponder people, what if YOU or ME are to close the eyes permanently tomorrow?

Regret?

Guilt?

Won't that be a lil too late?

Too late to give a Smile or to say Sorry.

I've QUIT.

2005-09-11T13:53:00.000+08:00

Hoping For A New Beginning..

Yearning For Peaceful Days Ahead..

You Peeps Out There, Puh~leese,

Leave Me And My Partner Alone.

Go Take Your Drama Somewhere Else.

I Think Ya'll Are In Need Of New Happy Meal Toys..

I'll Get Ya'll One Soon Ok.

For Now, I Suggest Ya'll Stay Behind The Bars.

Or Ya'll Get The Scars Of A Lioness.

One Of Ya Had One Before..

Am I Right?

Haha.

Unless Ya'll Are Thirsty For More,

Go Ahead And Toy With Others' Feelings And Mind.

P/S: I'm watching Out-Of-Towners for now. Haha! I know some people whose luck gonna be as unlucky as the couple.. Good Luck!

2005-09-11T12:31:00.000+08:00

It was a stressful and tiring day day for me. I skipped school for the sake of painting my room! Euurggh~.. I was more than in fire when i came home the night before, seeing my room in a blardy mess! My parents had pushed all my stuffs to the hall and started painting the walls. By the time it was bedtime, it was only half-way done. And so i had to sleep in the hall... Sheesh!

I had a very rough night. Wouldn't want to elaborate though. So the next day, Shazian specially over to my place and kindly helped me to finish up the painting.. Aww~.. So sweet right!! She helped me all evening.. Alas, the paintings done!! Woo hoo!! Thank You Yan!!!

Later after that, i followed her home. Her brothers and sissies were home. So was the two little kiddos, babygirl Q and my sweet, caramelicious Irfan.. Hehe! Loove Irfan! He's soo c.u.t.e!! Well, i adore the two lil kids but not the parents! I don't like their parents!! They often burden others about everything and most importantly, the children seems not well taken care of. Geesh! Hatteee eeuuu~... Grrr~...

So after quite a commotion in the house, both Q and Irfan was left there. Pitied Yan.. She have to take care of both lil kiddos. For a matter of fact, the lil people are very very naughty especially Q! I had quite a hard time too looking after her for a while..

Very much later at night, Yan and myself brought Q to MacD for a lil supper and a night walk. Q was sooo the makcik-makcik type, just like her mum, the minah. Hahaha! Had a memorable night just us the three ladies.. Hehe! Chatting and babysittin.. Smokin and eatin.. Hehe!

Good Night Ya'll~..

2005-09-07T16:51:00.000+08:00

I wonder.. Is this the beginning of a new beginning? God please guide Me. I don't wish to make another mistake in my life. Warn me with signs.. Help me with instincts. I don't mind. As long as You guide me.. Ameen.

2005-09-05T15:32:00.000+08:00

So we went out.. Shazian and i. Met up in the evening and we're off 1st to Tampines. Did a lil shopping and we then took a bus to City Hall.. She was supposed to meet that Maya at 6pm but we reached there at alomost 8pm! Janji melayu habis~... Hahahahaha! Hey, don't yall look at me ay.. It wasn't my doing. It's all Shazian's.. A salutation for her bravery! Woohoo!

I wasn't surprise at all. It's clear to me she still holds grudges aginst me. What the hell?! Sad to say... Grow up lahh lil girl! It's for your own good ya know.. Hahaha! Uh. Enough said.

For the record, we've bought 4 Willy Wonka's choco bar at the Candy Empire yesterday!! Yummay~... It's not just anywhere that you can find these Willy Wonka's chocolate. Even the Candy Empire, there's only t.w.o outlets in Singapore. And let me tell you, there's two types of Wonka's choco. One is the Mud Sludge and the other is the scrumtious Caramel Delight, which is my favooouuurite!! Hahaha! We bought 2 of each. One of the Mud Sludge is for Yan's lil sissy and the other 3 bars is for Me. Just Me! Haha! Yan bought them for me ya noe.. Sweet right.. Hahaha!

Well, right before we headed home, we chilled at the Millenia. Took some fantabulous pictures, climb here and there like a typical monkey and had a wonderful laugh at our own stupidity! Hahaha! How great can the day gets huh.. Haha! Though it was quite a tiring day for us, it was o.n.e memorable day out together.. Hehe!

SUNDAY ENDS....

Originalism..

Ok, this short lil entry is for the Lyn of Salina. I'm gonna expose this lil girl of her ingenious words and intentions. (Notice here, im using the words 'lil girl' to call her on. That should show how young and immature she still is.) Ookies, here goes..
This lil girl and her group of lil people are acting tough. Danial, this lil Lyn's favourite addiction, initiate a friendship with me. And so Dan and i did met up and went out at times. Since then we became close. We appreciate one another as friends soo much that ain't wanna spoil it. Buuut, this lil girl thought that i'm stealing Dan away from her. Little did i know that this girl fantasize Dan soo much that she'll do whatever to get his attention. Hmm.. No doubt, Danial's damn good looking, sweet and everything you'll ever wanted for a lifetime partner. I guess that's why this lil girl is sooo infatuated by him.
Well anyway, this doesn't occur recently, it started years back. and till now, this lil brat keeps buggering me. I don't know what Dan said to her but recently she's trying to be Me! Like what i like.. Love what i love.. Even to the extend of changing her personality to mine! Gawddammit!! I'm like having a twin sissy only that of course im the better looking and at the evrything one.. Haha! What do you expect, i'm the Original Me.
I'm beginning to feel that this Salina is a freaky solitude girl. She used to be called Ina but changed to Lyn out of the sudden. She suddenly loves Adidas and Caramel too. She shopped and but the clothings i often wear.. And even adopted the same nick like mine! I'm into interactive media and adopted Shutterfly Inc not so recently as the trademark logo and i wasn't surprise to see her version of everything, just like mine in a few days. I can't be bothered to stop her as it's her life, her rights too. Anyone can like or love what i do. And for now i simply can't be bothered. But the fact, i treasure Originalism!! Without further discrimination, i'll not elaborate further. So whatever it is people out there!! This is Important!! There's the pirated Tinkerbelle in the house!! Always be aware yahh...

Be Original You Bitch!

2005-09-04T05:07:00.000+08:00

Time check; 1357hrs. Yaawwnnzz~.. Lying on my bed and typing this journal. At the same time chatting on MSN too.. Layankan Kakak ku yang tak ku sangka, da jadi minah tupperware!!! Hahahahahahha! What a joke! Mummy ruggert but part-time tupperware dealer.. Hilarious man!! Hahaha! Can't stop laughing.. Heheh!

Ok, i'm suppose to go out later. Gonna accompany Shazian to her aunt's place in Tamp then we gonna meet Maya for awhile to pass something. Heheheheh! Maya liao~.. Hope she ain't gonna be surprise later seeing me and Yan.. Maklum lahh, i still feel she have not let go of the past. Well, it's been more than 7 months. I'm bearing no grudges anymore. I've let go.. I hope she has, or will.. Soon. Anyway, later after all that shits, we're off to Suntec City!! Gonna go to the Comex. A computer exhibition.. Was told by Sis that there's lootsa comp stuffs on sale and the prices are damn cheap! She said it's a must-grab kinda deal! Sooo, am gonna go for it later! Hahaha!

Yaaawnn.. Euuurrgghh~.. I'm still yawning.. Haha! Slept late uh yesterday. Was online till 3 plus in the morning.. Typically boredom. Kinda lazy to do my web design and wasn't that sleepy. But since i've promised Yan to go out early today, die-die also i have to wake up early. But i was awaken by a call at around 11 just now, by Is. We chatted for awhile and he told me about the yesterday and his plans for today. Sheesh.

Btw, yesterday i was out the whole day wif Dayne. Met him up at under my void at 1300hrs. Later went down to Orchard to meet Fai and Deedee, the band. Acting as a so-called manager to their band, went with them to Zombie Dance Bar, which formally known as Zombie Rock Bar, to register them up for a band comp. Three Tymes Mistaken gonna have a line of performances and competition ahead of them. For now, there's already a few in line. Well my guyz, way to go!!!

Ok lahh, i got to go~... Nak get ready! Or i'll be late.. Heheheh! Hmmm, nak pakai aper eeh? Haha! Typical grrrl~.. Well, for the record i think im gonna wear something long to keep me warm.. It's been raining since this morning and seems to me that the weather's gonna stay this way for the day. Ahhh~... Cool day.. Ok liao, see ya!!

P/S: Besok sekolaaahhh..... Haaaizz!

2005-09-03T01:49:00.000+08:00

FRIDAY; Time check:1038hrs. And im still at home. Got class today and i definitely had accidentaly woke up late. Haha! Thought of going for the next class onwards that is at 1300hrs but....

Si Shazian ni eeh! Aku bomb rumah dia baru tau.. I called her up lyk umpteen times and she still ain't picking it up. Obviously she's sleeping. Eh! No.. Hibernating is a more suitable word! What the hell.. She's been sleeping since God-knows-when.. Haha! Anyway, poor her. Nowadays her life keeps being bombarded by problems.. One after the other. I tell you, she's gone crazy for now!! Really~..

My bro came back last night. Earlier than usual, i know. I myself don't understand the rules. He just went back to camp like two days ago and now he's back, again? So fast liao.. Hmm.. Never mind. It's something not to my concern. As long as he didn't break their any rules and the fact that he's safe and sound, i'm glad.

Well people, im still on my bed while typing this.. I'm always feeling lazy and tired. Well, that's part of me. Hehe! Maybe after this i may be going back to wonderland or maybe i'm gonna wake up and continue doing my web design. Oh yahh, speaking of wonderland, nowadays when i sleep, i'm farther than a wonderland. In fact, it's beyond wonderland... Hmm.. What's that all suppose to mean..? My dreams feels realistically real. I often wake up feeling more confused than ever.. Even my brains always brings me to daze. Hmm.. Ponder ponder..

So have i typed enough? I guess so.. Till in my next entry..

P/S: Dayne's been calling my hp since this morning.. Up till now it's already 13 missed calls. Wonder wonder..

2005-09-02T16:31:00.000+08:00

I've school tomorrow. Well, did my Applied Design 1st assignment. Started on my Web Design assignment too. Haaiz.. 1st week of school already got assignments piling up liao.. But well, as well as there's no drawing, i'm all fine and contented! Hahaha!

Anyway, Happy Teachers' Day!! Hahahaha! Pointless to me... School holiday today, i sat at home the whole day time and did my assignments. Later that evening, met up with Yan and Baby Irfan.. Had an evening of nothing though. Just sat around basically babysittin Irfan. Plain FUN! Haha!

Today, it rained. It rains heavily. I felt cold not cozy. I'm missing Him. For a moment now, i begin to ponder, what's with my relationship. Is it the beginning of the END? I ain't know. I've been avoiding him since before the holidays. I realised that since, we can't communicate well. We kept arguing and disagreeing towards each other. He with his own world and Me with mine. What's with the both of us? Where's the Lovin'? I don't even tell or share with him anymore.. Well, i hope we get to spend time just the two of us talking things out. I know i can't run forever..

On top of it all, did i mention my timetable for this term? It sucks!! Big time! Every gawddamm day i've class at 8am and ends at 6.30pm excepts for Tuesday which i ends at 1pm. Aaarrggh! A very tight schedule indeed. So don't expect too much from Me about anything ookies! I even have no time for myself! Not even for my family and friends! Not even my Hubby! Gggrrrr~...

2005-09-02T07:21:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the looong holiday. Sampai berabuk blog ni! Cobwebs evrywhere! Shissh! Haha! Was very busy lahh during the last week. As ya'll know, i had a week of holiday from school. It's the term break. And today, on our first week of school re-open, we're on a holiday again! Teachers' Day lerr.. Haha!

Ok ok, back to the story.. During the week break, i was very busy for the whole week! Gawddammit YES! Every single day liao.. During the first few days, i came back to school to hand up all pending assignments. And i've been simply busy till the rest of the days until the 27th, the showdown! Well, what the hell am i blabbing about? It's the ITE Wireless Session 05! An event organized by Me and few others from the OAC Bedok. It's a fund-raising gig aimed to raise money for the school. We had lotsa greeaat bands such as 20 dischanger, Dyna Turmoil, Rancour, Yakamashii, etc.. Too many to mention liao! Haha! I even invited Misissued, my bro's band to perform for us! I'm glad it's over.. It's worth the experience and all.. Not much further comments here, just lotsa setbacks that we faced.. Lots of it!! Haaiz..

Anway, i just wanna send out a million THANKS to all that's involved. Without any of them, the gig won't be as what it has on the day. Every single one of us with our own contribution.. No matter what, it's all appreciated! Not forgettin the bands that came to perform on our humble stage.. All of them!! Thanks for understanding our setbacks and sorry for any inconvenience.. Anyway, feedbacks and suggestions are welcome yahh..

Next, an update about My epistle of life. Life's fine. Family's doin great.. Relationship wise, i've gone berserk. Ain't know what's the situation right now. School's fine. I've been quite close to Shazian lately since the gig thingy. She's a better friend than i thought.. Well, tht's all for now ookies!

2005-08-31T16:33:00.000+08:00

I simply LOVE red and black now.

2005-08-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

The Long Awaited Moment Is Finally Here.

2005-08-16T16:36:00.000+08:00

A short update for today.

School's fine. Am rushing with all my assignments now. I'm waaay behind time! Euurrggh~..

Had a looong day. Headed to Bedok Intchge with my sweets, Dea, Kit, MJ, Herlyn, Meon, and Farhan Cina. Stiff. But ok.

Met up with Dayne and the rest at Raimah. Sheesh! Nothing much to say uh.. Lotsa complication. I'm lost. Completely. But then again, it was ok.

Hey, i wish to share something;

What will you do when you find out that your Mom and Dad's sick? I mean totally sick.

What will you do when you find out that your Dad have to indergo an op?

What will you do to help your Mom and your Family?

And what about this, as a friend, what will you do to help your friend?

Bear this, if all this while in your life, all you do recently is disappoint your parents, go against them and also ignore them, what will you do if you're facing the situation above?

And if your close friend is facing the situation above, what can you do to help?

I was thinking of this scenario. I wondered and i pondered. But i need others' point of view. Mail me or something if your comments can't fit my crampy taggy ookies! Thanx peeps!!

Anyway, i'm stressed out. All worn out. Lotsa things on my mind. My school, assignments, the ITE Wireless Session, the shortfilm with Q and of course, my family, hubby and friends... Endurance babe!!! Sheesh! Later~.. Yawwnnz...

2005-08-15T14:54:00.000+08:00

Thank You For Even Visiting My Humble Blogspot.

But Please Bear This, Read At Your Own Discretion.

No Opinions Nor Judgements Are Needed.

Sorry If You're Hurt. Sorry If Your Name's Mentioned.

Happens To Be You're In An Epistle Of My Life.

Read It. Understand It. Got It. Forget About It.

Let It Pass. Cause I Do.

Meantime, 3D Animation Sucks. Did My Project. Damn It's A Tidious Work. Shikes! The Storyboard's Not Done! Hmm.. Chill. Gona Get On To It Pretty Soon After I Export My Animation. Haiz.

2005-08-14T05:29:00.000+08:00

Since Wednesday, i spent my whole two freaking days doing the MTV project mostly in NYP. Mind you bitch, it ain't easy. I'm doing it all alone. Damn you! Huh. You have the cheek to complain and give me that nice sentence on the phone uh.. Well, fark off! Since the start, ya'll are often busy with your own bullshits, own stuffs. I saw the group slacked and i progressed it for ya'll. Went all the way to search for help and all. I was happy when i managed to follow-on the project. Well, at least i did!

Didn't you see i've been struggling to make it happen?? Thought it was your dream too to make this happen? I guess it's all bullshit uh. At the least of it, i did give my very best. I discussed everything with the group especially the leader, before i proceeded with the work. I don't know what else you bitches expect from me. The fact i didn't tell you off in your faces, be contented. I may just be a nobody and just a member of the group, but that doesn't mean im unintellect.

You even gave all the assurance that you'll do the animation, fuck real you will!! Everything's delayed. All because you're depending on one helper. Step out of the box lahh. I did the animation all by my own within a day! I'm not boosting. I understand it's advance 3D we're doing, but keep in mind, you peeps are the ones who wants it that way. I did my homework by reading 3D tutorials online, opened up the course notes and also seek help from few people ot there, just to get the freaking animation done! That's my effort for you!

In just one whole night and the next morning girl, i managed to get it all done. The secrets to it, the software, mould up bee, internet, just a clip of the shooting(which you can even save it in your thumdrive), efforts, patience and determination. Nak seribu daya uh pompan..

Don't blame me for being often not in school. Countless times i brought the farking heavy portable hard drive to and fro school, but ya'll never use it. Told you to just save that one clip in your thumbdrive, and ya'll give grandmother reasons. If you did that, be a good girl and sat down and did your farking part, none of this shits will happen. The hell i don't even make use of the hard drive nor anyone beside me when i did the animation and the graphic text.

And do you wanna know why i couldn't wake up that Thursday morning when ya'll called me up like mad donkeys?? Cause i'm too worn out! Spent the night before building up the raw works, the next day, sat infront of the comp editting the bloody vid and came back home, helped out my Dad painted our home. Look, i still need to be a filial daughter you know. I slept at after 0400hrs! Futhermore i told you i need to go back to NYP to fit in the sound, edit it further and all. I sacrificed my school and time as well as effort to make the vid. Film making is my main interests. I don't mind about others. We know nuts about shooting, editting and all, but i'm all semangat to learn and find out. And yes i did found a good tutor and guidance, Q! She guided me all the way. Taught me lots of things and im proud i can do it own my own.. Hmmph!!

Ay, you forgot is it, i told you the probs i'm facing while doing all that and you didn't even bother to reply. And poor me have to find my own bloody solutions. Sheesh! Told you to find some sounds for our vid and you just didn't. Yet, i have to go all the way to steal copyright sounds! After all, i don't care uh what ya'll think or feel or even judge me. I'm thru with ya'll. I don't mind being an ass hole complaining by typing in this blogg as long as i don't fuck ya'll in reality. Don't question, it's just Me.

Now that the damn project's done. I'm all contented. I wish for one last thing, be fair and write the report well of who did what. I'm really gonna stab you bitches right there if ya'll gonna lie and tryna make it seems all fair. Couse i know every single thing about the process of it, the problems and the setbacks. Even to the extend of details and solutions, i know. Mind me, i did it all.. Hahahaha!

Snooze off ya'll!!

ShaLyn

2005-08-10T15:11:00.000+08:00

National Day uh. Well the most thing i love about this day of every year is the public holiday. Yes! A day off! Woohoo~.. And yahh, Happy 40th National Day!! Thanks for the public holiday yahh! Hahaha!

Maybe today i'm going to watch the fireworks with Dayne and friends. Ain't sure about the day out actually. Dayne's sick. Especially after he had a rough night due to family stuffs. Poor him~.. Well, but after he had his proper rest and all, and also after much consideration, he called me up asking me to go with him to meet his pals and watch the fireworks. Yeay!

I was reluctant at first though. But he insisted. He wanna watch the fireworks with Me. Die-die also he wanna make the dream come true.. Sweet ay! Hehe! Happens that Fai and the rest asked him to join in the fun. And so, It's Dayne, myself, Deedee, Kama, Fai and Lydia(the narrated bitch of my dear friend Nora's circle of friends). Ah. I don't mind lahh who's around.. As long as i got to enjoy myself..

Through the spectecular day, everything's fine and good till Lenny and Renny(Deedee's sissies) joined us. I was all over-excite to see them, especially Lenny. It's been sometime since i last saw her. But what spoiled my day since that moment was Dayne. He was all up with his bloody atitude, no reason nor rhyme. Grrrr~... I could just bite him all over! Damn!

The whole entire night after that was a mess! He's all stucked up, being such a pain in the ass. Well, all i have to say is SORRY GUYS.. I ain't sure what's provoked him. Poor Me~.. I'm all lost. Instead i have to find the reason and the solution to all that. Urgh. Love is love but when it all comes to all this, it sucks! But no doubt i'm willing to take it all in my pride. The endurance paced. Huh.

After Dayne dragged me off from them and forced me to head home with him, i took the initiative to pin him down with my uncertainties. Questions after questions was asked. At the end of it, i managed to put a stop to all the shits and at the same time digged the answers to all the reasons. Fuuh~..

Had quite a pleasant ride home with him though. He's more of a human now. Sheesh~.. I know if he got to read the entries i wrote about him, he'll blow his top and get all worked up. But what the hell, this is My Space! My own discretion. This applies to anyone and everyone, your judgements aren't needed. I type what i feel. At times i exaggerate. I admit. Sometimes the feelings overpowered the mind. So pardon my language or my harshness or even the sweetest thingy i type in here.

Anyway, have a pleasant holiday! May the force be with US!! Haha!

BeLLe

2005-08-09T16:13:00.000+08:00

He's been shoo-ed from home. I'm all worried. In the cold night, all alone, all quiet and creepy. He's sleeping from at the playground then to under the void.He's unwell. He's cold. He's tired. He's all alone. Please God, shelter him from all danger. Guard him with all Your love.. Thank You.. I love you. Please take care.